I threw pills down my throat.. I’d lost my way
BY EMMA COX ALFIE BOE reveals overdose hell
Singer Alfie Boe has been hiding an emotional secret from his fans. The music star has revealed he took an overdose after separating from his wife two years ago.
Alfie makes the revelations next week on BBC reality show Freeze the Fear, which sees stars take part in endurance challenges with “Iceman” Wim Hof.
The Dutch guru’s techniques include ice swimming and using breathwork to help people improve their health.
And after plunging into icy water, Alfie opens up about the depression he suffered when he split from Sarah, mum to his children Grace and Alfred.
Speaking on the show, Alfie says: “When my separation happened initially I went into a really dark place. It’s weird to talk about, I’ve not spoken about this in public, but I’m willing to, if it can help anyone out there that needs that.
“I’d gone through beating myself up and hating myself and not having any love for myself and it resulted in a foolish act of throwing some pills down my throat because I’d lost my way.
“I ended up in a rehabilitation facility for about five weeks and it was a scary time.”
The 48-year-old tenor, who has sold a million albums and been awarded an OBE, has rarely spoken about the
August 2020 split.
But in moving scenes on the show,
– hosted by Holly
Willoughby and Lee
Mack – he admits he is still struggling to come to terms with what happened.
Choking back tears, he says: “I was separated from my wife after being married for 18 years. We have two beautiful children but unfortunately our journey wasn’t to last a lifetime.
“Even though we’re close and we’re friends it’s not the same.
It’s been nearly two years now but it still feels so raw. I miss her.
I miss what we had.”
Alfie, who has had three No1 albums with friend Michael Ball as chart act Boe and Ball, tells how his marriage fell apart after a period of job-related stress.
“I don’t know how it went really, it was just one thing after another,” he says. “I’d been travelling, on the road a lot. Having to say goodbye for months at a time was hard.”
The couple, who met as Alfie
I’d gone through beating myself up and hating myself and not having love for myself
ALFIE BOE ON THE MENTAL HEALTH IMPACT OF HIS SPLIT FROM WIFE SARAH
rehearsed for La Boheme in San Francisco married in 2004, spent lockdown at their home in the Cotswolds but split that summer.
It was rumoured at the time that Alfie had shared secret dates with a younger woman while still married – rumours he strenuously denies.
He has also denied reports that he joined the A-list dating app Raya and was messaging other women.
The revelation came at the house Alfie shared with his Freeze the Fear co-stars in the Italian mountains where the show was filmed.
The previous evening, ex-footballer Patrice Evra had been talking about missing his children.
Alfie tells Strictly Come Dancing star Diane Buswell, sports host Gabby Logan and The One Show reporter Owain Wyn Evans: “I got a little emotional because everyone was talking about their other halves and it hit me harder than I realised. All in all it was a lovely marriage and when people say, ‘I’m sorry your marriage didn’t work out’ we always look at it like, ‘It wasn’t a failure, it did work’.
“We’ve got two beautiful children. I am where I am now and the people that have helped me come a long way are our kids, friends, family.”
And he credits the show – which also stars rapper Professor Green and former Eastenders star Tamzin Outhwaite – with aiding his recovery, adding he wants to be an inspiration for his kids.
“Depression is a really debilitating thing to go through,” Lancashire-born Alfie says later.
“It’s not easy. You have to accept you’re not perfect and you have to accept you’re human and you do make mistakes. You have to find that inner strength and that inner love for yourself to be able to deal with it.
“I am where I am now. The main reason I’m doing [Freeze the Fear] and rising to these challenges is because I want to make my kids proud and I want to be a better person for everyone that comes into my life.”
Alfie has previously spoken of suffering depression due to spending months away from his children while focusing on his career. He is best known for playing Jean Valjean in the musical Les Miserables in London’s West End.
He also played the lead role in Finding Neverland on New York’s Broadway and has appeared on stage at events including Last Night of the Proms and The Royal Variety Show.
He wrote in his 2014 autobiography about giving up drink, adding he could go for months without alcohol before going on a binge which would end when he would “smash up rooms and throw things out of windows”.
He added: “It became a crutch with which to deal with any stress – a difficult colleague, a bad rehearsal, a taxi not turning up.”
Several of the stars on Freeze the Fear have opened up about their mental health issues.
And in the same episode that Alfie talks about his overdose, to be shown on Tuesday night, Buswell talks about her eating disorder.
Hof developed his technique after his wife Olaya tragically took her own life in 1995. He found solace in the rush of endorphins that came from being immersed in sub-zero water.
His celebrity fans include Oprah Winfrey and Justin Bieber.
Recently Alfie appeared on his friend Michael’s Radio 2 show to talk about the icy experience.
Alfie said: “There’s something very unique and special about the cold therapy treatment.
“It was euphoric. I just felt alive, like I had this rush of energy flowing through me like crazy, like electricity.”
Freeze the Fear with Wim Hof, BBC1, 9pm, Tuesday
It’s been two years now but it still feels so raw ALFIE BOE OPENS UP ON END OF HIS MARRIAGE