HE’S GOING ABROAD WHEN BABY IS DUE

My partner and I are expecting our first baby next month and he’s just told me he needs to be abroad for work for a week when I’m due to give birth.

I literally can’t believe it – he claims he can’t get out of it, that it’s too important, and keeps saying the baby might be late anyway. What’s more important than the birth of your first child?

Is it just me or does he not understand what a huge deal this is? My mum and sister have offered to be there, but it’s just not the same. And what am I going to say to our child when they grow up – “Daddy wasn’t there when you were born because he was on a work jolly”?

I can hardly look at him right now. Any suggestions on how we move forward?

I don’t know your husband’s situation at work, so I can’t see why he won’t explain to his boss that his baby is due.

Maybe he’s worried about job security and feels he can’t say no? Or perhaps he’s his own boss and is trying to keep things going or land a deal that will be good for your family financially?

I think he needs to weigh up carefully how he might feel afterwards if he misses the birth – he’ll never get this moment again and photos or videos won’t make up for it. Can he can live with that?

On the plus side, the baby doesn’t know who’s there and who isn’t when they’re born. Both my husbands were at the birth of our children because it was important to them, but I think they were both a bit traumatised watching me go through it!

There’s really no way of telling when the baby will arrive – my first was 10 days late – but try to have a conversation rather than an argument with your husband.

Try to get him to see he’ll never get the chance again and he may regret it. Say it’s important to you that he’s there for support and to share this special moment.