We are broke but partner won’t let my parents help

My partner and I have an 18-month-old son and we’ve been struggling financially over the past year or two. I gave up work to look after the baby, but unfortunately my partner was made redundant not long afterwards.

He is working, picking up jobs here and there, but it’s just enough to keep us going. We don’t have any extra money for nice things like trips or a meal at a restaurant. We literally count every penny.

It’s been hard and I hate not being able to go out with friends. It is embarrassing having to keep saying “we can’t make it” and finding some lame made-up excuse not to go.

My main issue is, my parents know we’ve been struggling, so offered to send me some money, so the three of us could have a weekend away. I was overjoyed because we really need a break, but my partner went nuts, saying he wasn’t taking charity from my parents.

I was heartbroken, but ended up telling my mum not to send the money, lying that we were too busy to go away.

I think my partner feels bad now, but we’re barely talking. I’m so angry with him – why can’t he just accept a nice gift and make the most of it?

I think it’s just pride – he wants to provide for his family. He must be feeling pretty low right now after being made redundant and struggling to make ends meet. I think it would help to acknowledge the situation you’re in, stop being embarrassed and making up excuses and be honest with the people in your life.

When you get invited out, just say: “I’m sorry, we can’t afford it right now”. Trust me, you’re not the only ones having to watch every penny – far from it. It might take some time and patience before you get back on your feet, but try thinking of it as a temporary situation.

As far as your parents go, they’re your mum and dad so it’s easier for you to accept this gift. But perhaps you could suggest accepting the money and telling your parents you’ll pay them back when you can.

They might not want you to pay them back but, if you make the offer, it might help your partner feel better about it.

I know it’s hard, especially if you have kids, when you don’t have any spare cash to go out and get a break. But stop fighting each other, be a team and try to have empathy for where the other is coming from.

Talk about it and listen to each other. Also, try to get him to see that it’s not charity – your parents want you to have a break. It was their gift.

But most importantly, reassure your partner you’re in this together and you’ll find a way through it as a couple.

He went crazy when they offered to pay for a break