Wake up to teen secret shame
WHEN I tell people part of my job as a behaviour change therapist is to help teens stop bedwetting, I’m usually met with puzzled expressions and the question: “Is that actually a thing?”
Regular bedwetting is a problem that blights many teenagers’ lives, yet is rarely discussed.
Official figures say that around 2 per cent of teens – around 150,000 in the UK – suffer from ongoing bedwetting, or nocturnal enuresis, to give it its official name.
But as those who work in NHS Bladder & Bowel Clinics will attest, this figure is probably conservative. The embarrassment and shame teenagers feel mean they rarely discuss their issue, with parents sworn to secrecy.
Not only do families have piles of wet bed linen to deal with each morning but there is an emotional cost too.
School residential trips become a nightmare, sleepovers have to be refused and for those in boarding schools or starting university, the problem is even worse.
When bedwetting comes on suddenly and randomly it is known as secondary enuresis. It may be caused by an infection or triggered by emotional upsets such as a family separation or exams. In these instances it is usually only temporary. But youngsters with primary enuresis will have never been dry at night. If conventional methods such as bedwetting alarms and prescription medications fail to solve the problem, the help on offer seems to vanish, with GPS admitting they have no other solutions.
But the advice to simply “wait and you’ll grow out of it” can wear a bit thin as that magical day never seems to come. Anxiety is not always the primary cause of bedwetting as many children and teenagers are happy, confident, creative individuals who only develop anxiety as a result of the bedwetting, rather than the other way round. So how can you help?
■ If your teen’s bedwetting has come on suddenly and is persisting for more than the odd night, it’s a good idea to have a check-up with the doctor. Likewise, if you haven’t taken medical advice for many years, speak to your GP for a review
■ Psychological behaviour change methods such as hypnosis, neuro linguistic programming (NLP), meditation and mindfulness have been used successfully.
They improve the messaging signals in the body, quality of sleep and provide emotional support. Your GP will be able to advise on this
■ Remove nighttime protective “pull ups” if these are still being worn. Protecting the bed, not the individual will encourage improved messaging between the bladder and the brain
■ Very deep sleep is often cited as the reason people are unable to wake in response to a full bladder, but a good night’s sleep is usually the last thing a bedwetting teenager is experiencing.
Disordered sleep patterns often accompany this problem and late-night screen usage will undoubtedly contribute to this.
Introduce a digital detox for at least an hour before bed.
Blue light interferes with sleep patterns so correcting this may well solve the problem
■ Ensure your teen keeps their fluid levels up as dehydration causes constipation, which is a common cause of bedwetting. Aim for around 1.5 litres per day.
■ Keep a food diary – fizzy, energy and caffeinated drinks including low-calorie with artificial sweeteners can make bedwetting more likely
■ Consider getting mental health support – your teen’s emotional wellbeing will have suffered in their bedwetting years.
■ Alicia Eaton is a Behaviour Change Therapist at London’s Harley Street and author of Stop Bedwetting in Seven Days (Practical Inspiration Publishing) and the My Dry
Bed programme for teens, mydrybed.com.