If Chris Coleman did indeed tick all the boxes, then the FAI has got the wrong boxes

IT OFTEN starts well for Ireland managers, it never ends that way.

The pattern is familiar. Initial euphoria quickly followed by a crash landing and messy recriminations.

Even the most maligned were greeted as saviours early on.

Sift through the back pages and you might be startled by what was written and said about Steve Staunton following the 3-0 win over Sweden in his opener.

Even his decision to bring back physio Mick Byrne to dispense hugs and chocolate biscuits was talked up as proof of his mettle.

A matter of months later, Staunton was being branded a muppet and pushed quickly towards the exit door.

The break-ups have often been ugly but that has always been matched by the messiness of the ‘process’ to find a manager in the first place.

Again and again we come back to Paddy Mulligan missing out on the chance to succeed John Giles because an FAI blazer thought he had thrown a bun at him during a meal on an away trip.

We keep repeating that yarn because it sums up the clownish way the FAI go about finding managers.

It’s tempting to think that flags have been flown over the past few months to gauge reaction.

What about Neil Lennon? A screamed ‘No!’ from the public. The Lennon flag was quickly brought down from the pole.

Er, Chris Coleman might be interested? Again, the same reaction. ‘No!’

Maybe a Coleman was what we deserve. Ordinary to mediocre team ends up with an ordinary to mediocre manager.

Nobody really knows who came up with the concept of notions but there isn’t a single person in the country who doesn’t know what it means.

And it’s hard to argue with the premise that Irish football has serious notions about itself.

Consider this – Ireland have played in 39 qualifying campaigns for major tournaments in their history, qualifying just six times.

How would you describe a 15% return? Ordinary to mediocre.

But could we still not do better than Coleman?

He is no longer in the frame and you’d wonder did the negative reaction to his candidacy play a part.

If Chris Coleman ticked all the boxes, then the FAI have the wrong boxes.

Did they not remember his last game in charge of

Wales – the 1-0 defeat in

Cardiff in

2017 when

James

Mcclean silenced a raucous home crowd

(right)? The abiding memory from that night is of Shane Duffy heading ball after ball back up the pitch. That was the Wales approach, launch it long and high on top of a centre-half who lives and breathes that kind of football.

History tells us that when the FAI do go into the job market, things get ugly. This time has been no different – despite the high performance jargon from the FAI suits.

Liam Brady’s words from a Sunday Tribune column following Steve Staunton’s departure in 2007 put the case for a more rigorous and professional approach.

“This is not the sort of job someone should apply for. Any appointment should be preceded by a careful, considered, educated search for the best candidate,’’ wrote Brady. “It should be a case of the FAI, or its consultants, identifying the right sort of manager to guide the team to the next World Cup finals, not some public beauty contest.

“When someone like Philippe Troussier is putting his hand up for almost every international post going, that only cheapens the whole process.”

A Paul Simon song – 50 Ways To Leave Your Lover – chimes curiously with Irish football.

Stick it on, the chorus will have your jaw dropping.

“You just slip out the back, Jack Make a new plan, Stan

You don’t need to be coy, Roy

Just get yourself free.”

Jack? Stan? Roy? Those names ring a bell...

Does anyone remember now that Arsene Wenger was talked up as an FAI target in 2018? Arsene Wenger is still trying to stop laughing...

Steve Bruce was one of the favourites on a couple of occasions, presumably because everyone who managed Sunderland eventually gets a shot.

We can say one thing with certainty. The tenure of the next Ireland manager – Lee Carsley, Marty Morrissey, Bono, whoever – will end in tears, because it always does.

Irish football is all bubble and no level. Trapped in a perpetual Groundhog Day.

The tedious post-mortems. The hand-wringing and crocodile tears, the talk of following the Icelandic/ Belgian/dutch model.

There’s a wearying sameness to the dismal nights, the sterile debates, the blame game, the desire to talk up the latest flavour of the month, the blatant failure to confront the real issues...