Time to speak up

As research shows we are facing a confidence crisis, let 2024 be the year you speak up, says

For many people, especially women, voicing their true feelings can be a challenge. And now a new survey by Colgate finds 46 per cent of adults are suffering from a confidence crisis.

“It’s important for all humans to have a voice, it’s a powerful thing to speak your truth,” says psychologist Dr Carie Schuster, associate fellow of the British Psychological Society.

“Being able to express your thoughts, views and wishes allows you to share the essence of who you are. It enables you to be authentic.

“But having your voice ignored can lead to low self-esteem and shame,” adds Dr Schuster who specialises in trauma therapy.

“Shame will stop you from doing or saying most things, such as voicing your thoughts or enjoying social events, and often has a root in being humiliated by family members or at school.”

The good news is that this lack of confidence can be overcome.

“It doesn’t matter how long that false belief has been in there, it can be fixed,” adds Dr Schuster.

Voice coach Caroline Goyder, who has trained actors at the Royal Central School of Speech and Drama in London, agrees, adding that there has never been a better time to learn to speak with confidence. “The unintended consequence of our technological age is that the voice – the real human voice – matters more than ever,” says Caroline, author of Find Your Voice. So it’s time to be heard.

Let 2024 be the year you find yours. Here the experts reveal how it’s done.

FEEL YOUR VOICE

“Your voice isn’t ‘lost’, you haven’t left it on a train seat or under the sofa,” says Caroline. “It’s with you now, and you just have to know where to find it.”

Put your hand on your stomach and laugh. Feel that? Your voice is right there, deep in your torso – like buried treasure.

Your voice has always been there, since you took your first breath. That’s the wonder of it – your voice is your bridge to the world.

FIND YOUR MESSAGE

“If there’s something you need to voice, it can help to find the heart of your message,” says Caroline.

“A way to help you structure your thoughts is to answer the following questions – read through your answers before any communication.”

Why does my message matter? Why do I want to give the other person this message?

What will happen if I don’t speak my truth?

IGNORE YOUR INNER EDITOR

“If your brain won’t quieten down when you’re trying to speak, just inwardly say thank you,” says Caroline.

“Your system, your inner editor, is trying to help you out – it’s putting you in fight or flight mode.

“But you don’t need to be fearful. The more you let go of your anxieties the more you breathe, and the more you breathe, the more you can let your voice open up.”

CHANGE HOW YOU VIEW YOUR SELF

“Affirmations can help internal wishes and desires to consolidate and become your reality,” says Dr Schuster. “There’s something magical about the vocal sounds reverberating in our throats that heals, releases and self-affirms.” Here are some affirmations you could say on a daily basis to help boost self-esteem. You could write them on a Post-it note and stick it on your bedroom mirror.

I believe in myself.

I speak my truth.

I value myself.

Being out of my comfort zone helps me to overcome my fears.

DO GUIDED BREATHWORK

“Guided breathwork can help you to find calm when you’re nervous,” says Dr Schuster. “Meditation and visualisation are also powerful tools to help centre yourself, and in turn boost self-confidence.” ■■TRY: The Thinkup app is designed to build confidence. The Plum Village, a free app, offers 100s of guided meditations.

DON’T FEAR BEING INCONVENIENT

Once you’ve found your voice, question, probe and demand explanations on issues that matter to you. Sara Ahmed, author of The Feminist Killjoy Handbook, adds: “Don’t be afraid to not go along with something, or not get along with someone. Don’t sit quietly –become a killjoy and react. Speak back.”

BE YOURSELF

It’s important to be true to yourself and proud of your authenticity. “We are not always responsible for how we are received. Yet we don’t have to change our words or soften our appearance – or make ourselves seem smaller for others,” says Sara.

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It’s important to have a voice. It’s a powerful thing to speak your truth