Wigging out Wednesday

Speaking of Rooney (see Monday), it turns out the footie ace wasn’t all talk when he previously claimed he wanted to retrain as a lawyer.

In fact, he had even applied to study law at Nottingham University – before landing his previous footie job in Washington DC.

“I applied to go in and try and study,” he said on Gary Neville’s Stick to Football podcast this week.

“But then obviously I had to go away (to America).”

Cross-examined about whether he might try again, Rooney let slip a hair-raising admission – one of the main draws of the law for him was, er... the wigs.

No stranger to a hair transplant, Rooney might have been on to something, in the good old days before tuition fees. But I suspect even the priciest private ops aren’t a patch on the cost of three years’ fees.

There was also another big hole in Rooney’s anecdote – did Nottingham Uni actually accept him before he had to pull out? According to student forums, the typical applicant needs AAA at A-level.

Going by Rooney’s own previous admissions, the only triple As he has are...

... the batteries in his TV remote. like a (very lucky) duck to water.

Because if there’s one way to get over someone, it’s to get under someone... surf lessons.

Especially when your instructor is hunky Costa Rican Armando Perez, who – from the look of pictures all over Google this week – seems to favour a very hands-on approach. (Have a look!)

I’m not really up on my surf lingo, but I wonder... has he got a long one or a short one? I’m talking about his board... obviously.