Our man in Tinseltown looks ahead to another crazy night
Tom Bryant There can be no dawdling… the celebs need to get a wriggle on
This time last year, it was a monster storm hovering over Hollywood that threatened to drench the A-listers sashaying down the champagne-coloured carpet.
And who can forget the 12 months before that, when Will Smith’s infamous slap went down in Academy Awards history?
Yes, it’s the Oscars again – where a full-blown crisis is never far away.
And all the Tinseltown talk this week is about how bosses are bracing themselves for more potential turmoil – on a number of different fronts. Well, they do call it La La Land, after all…
Firstly, executives are said to be very anxious about a repeat of the anti-war protests that disrupted last month’s Spirit Awards.
An organised group of protesters outside used loudspeakers to project pre-recorded looped chants of “Free, free Palestine”, “Long live Palestine” and “Ceasefire now”, which could be heard throughout the show.
Executives are said to have a “formal plan” for any potential disturbances, which has been drawn up by a crack crisis team.
It is the same group of troubleshooters introduced in the wake of “The Slap” and they will be desperately hoping any protests are contained outside Los Angeles’s Dolby Theatre. But they will still be worried by the escalating tensions in the Middle East and security – which is already substantial – will doubtless be tightened up even further.
Next on the agenda when it comes to potential disasters is the running time. Not only are the awards airing an hour earlier than their traditional slot, the live show also coincides with the clocks going forward.
As well as potentially confusing viewers, organisers are worried it could lead to a slew of celebrities – not known for their timekeeping skills – arriving late.
With this in mind, organisers have altered the layout of the arrivals carpet, with two VIP lanes for the stars to filter down instead of one. A source tells me: “It’s so the whole process is sped up and we can usher the actors inside more quickly. There can be no dawdling... the celebs need to get a wriggle on.”
When the show starts, executives are confident Ryan Gosling’s performance of Oscar-nominated song I’m Just Ken could prove to be this year’s viral moment.
But they will be wary of his slot reigniting the sexism row over nomination snubs for his Barbie co-star Margot Robbie and director Greta Gerwig. As one film producer wryly put it: “It could all rather backfire if they are not careful.”
At least if it does go belly-up, the celebs can console themselves with a goodie bag – which it is fair to say rather flies in the face of the global financial crisis.
Sent to the 26 nominees in the acting and directing categories, it includes vouchers for an all-inclusive stay at Switzerland’s exclusive Chalet Zermatt Peak, where a week can cost £100,000, and a seven-day holistic wellness retreat at Golden Door, a spa resort just outside San Diego.
Gift bag recipients also get three nights in a breathtaking private villa in St Barts. Rather less expensive items include skincare products, microneedling, collectors’ edition Rubik’s Cubes and glutenfree cashew cookies.
Hollywood? Cloud cuckoo land, more like…