That special woman in our lives – it’s the Irish Mammy
On the eve of Mother’s Day we celebrate a phenomenon that’s summed up in series of books
WITH Mother’s Day tomorrow, it’s time to celebrate the best of them all – the Irish Mammy.
The Irish Mammy is a powerhouse of capability who is never short of good advice.
She’s the one who’ll tell you what you need to hear; and delivers words of wisdom in a language all of her own.
She has been immortalised in one of Ireland’s most famous comic creations, Mrs
Brown.
She’s such a phenomenon, comedian Colm O’regan wrote a book series on her: The Book of Irish Mammies.
O’regan explained: “There are of course many different types of Irish Mammy, but whatever the variations are, you’ll recognise some things.
“This is a woman who will have spent some time worrying about damp clothes and unaired beds, feeling the lift of a stretch in the evenings, making and drinking gallons of tea with neighbours and family (being sure to scald the teapot), ordering children down off a wall for fear they’d break their neck, being surprised by prawn cocktail, and having the pavlova.”
His books were intended to “celebrate the wit, wisdom, pragmatism and warmth” of this special woman in our lives.
So – to mark Mothering Sunday – we pick the best of Irish Mammies, from O’regan’s bestselling collection.
QUOTES FROM THE
IRISH MAMMY On coats:
“Whatever ye do, let ye bring the coat anyway. If it’s too warm ye can take it off, but it’d be handy to have. You could get an awful cold this time of the year.”
On rules of the house: “Make sure you put it back where you got it now” or “I hope you didn’t use the good scissors for that” or “Hold on to that, it might be useful for something.”
On forgetting the household staple:
“Sliced pan! How did I forget that? Shur that was the main reason for going in the first place.”
When she’s annoyed at not seeing you enough:
“I was expecting a phone call on Sunday. But I suppose you must have been busy. Shur you’re here now anyway.
That’s the main thing.”
Hinting about life progress:
“I see the Quigleys are expecting their second child ... ’Twouldn’t be any harm now if ye were getting a move on too.”
On the kids playing sport: “It keeps them out of trouble anyway.”
If things get desperate: “I cannot BELIEVE how I’m being treated here. I’ve a good mind to ring Joe Duffy about it.”
The miracle of “good drying out”: “I went out to the line. I’d say it was only an hour later. And the clothes were BONE dry . ‘magine!”
On trying to always do the right thing: “They’re saying now if you put ground-up broccoli dipped in vinegar in their ears it reduces the chances of nits.”
When she hears someone isn’t well. “I saw him all right and he was very shook” or “I knew I hadn’t seen him at mass in a while”.
Doing the laundry: “Where is the comrade of that sock, I wonder?”
On the benefits of being beside the seaside: “You’ll sleep tonight, after all that sea air.”
Catch-all responses that mean nothing: “So that’s the way. So that was grand. Shur, who are you telling?”
What Not To Do when dealing with the Irish Mammy – “Drop In” unnanounced:
“The Irish Mammy will spend the entire visit lamenting the poor quality of the welcome: ‘I’m sorry now I haven’t any more to offer ye. If ye’d have only rung to say ye were coming.’”
Colm O’regan, author of the Second Book of Irish Mammies, said Irish Mammies love Kenny Rogers.
“Mammy has always been a fan of grand singers but this is a different type of grand singer.
“For every fella who ‘went the money’ and got a proper pair of denims that fitted. Kenny Rogers is a man’s man. And a Mammy’s man.
He added: “When things get lost, the Irish Mammy calls on St Anthony of Padua, and he gets to work, negotiating with ghosts. “
The Second Book of Irish Mammies (right) by Colm O’regan is published by Transworld Ireland.