PAUL O’GRADY ONE YEAR ON: HIS
NESTLED in the beautiful Kent countryside, it was a house where laughter used to fill every nook and cranny. But now the corridors are quiet, and it often seems as if the only sounds are the clocks gently ticking.
Andre Portasio is still not used to the huge chasm left by the death of beloved husband Paul O’grady.
Only last week, he grew upset as he sorted some of the TV star’s clothes into bags for the Salvation Army.
“Suddenly, you start remembering where we were, and what we were doing together,” he says.
“It reminded me just how lucky I was to have had him in my life.”
It’s little wonder the emotions are still so close to the surface.
Today marks the first anniversary of Paul’s death from sudden cardiac arrhythmia, aged 67, which brought their 18-year love affair to an end.
It is an event still so vivid in Andre’s mind, he knew he couldn’t bear to be in the same four walls.
“I wanted to be as far away from it as possible in New Zealand,” he tells me quietly, a few days before the planned trip.
“I don’t want to be anywhere near my kitchen where I found him, and be reminded of what happened.”
Rather touchingly, he’s bringing Paul’s passport along with him.
“It will feel like he’s coming with me anyway, which is what he would have loved as he couldn’t do long-haul flights as he got older,” he says.
“But he would have loved New Zealand, and on the day in question, I will remember him quietly in my own way.”
This is Andre’s first ever interview about their life together. Gently spoken and kind, you can see why Paul adored him so – and the feeling is mutual.
“I really thought that when we got married it would be forever.
“I just didn’t realise that forever would be so shortlived,” he says.
Andre wants to celebrate his husband’s incredible legacy and pay heartfelt thanks for the outpouring of love for Paul in the wake of his death.
But before we do, he feels the time is right to share the deeply personal circumstances of what happened that fateful night 12 months ago.
And it goes a long way in explaining why he doesn’t feel strong enough to be alone with his thoughts in the home one year on.
“The day he died, we had the most ordinary day,”
Andre begins.
“I’d got up early and gone down to the fields as
I was working in the wood
He had a good aura about him. I told him he looked handsome ANDRE PORTASIO ON PAUL’S LAST MORNING
land. Paul had come back from touring, so was a little bit tired and woke up really late.
“Usually, he would stagger down from the bedroom with his hair on end and moaning it was the beginning of the day. “He loved a good moan but he had a meeting with his producer, Malcolm
Prince, about his radio show and he was looking very smart in a white shirt, and had a good aura. I’ll never forget saying to him how handsome he looked, and him joking back saying f*** off !”
After the afternoon’s meeting, Paul would have usually walked their five dogs alone, but this time asked Andre along as he wanted to show him some new trees he had bought.
Andre adds: “He was on wonderful form and then we settled down in the living room and switched on the telly to catch up on Kent ITV News.
“He always insisted on watching the presenter Sangeeta [Bhabra] – he loved her and would never allow me to put the BBC on. It was all about ITV. He left to get some tea, and I heard this loud bang. But because the house is big and old, I didn’t think of anything at first.”
Andre noticed two of the dogs going into the kitchen then returning,