Is it worth giving up my social life in order to study?

I’m a 32-year-old woman and in September I started retraining to change careers. It coincided with breaking up with my longterm boyfriend and I’m finding it hard. Financially, it’s a nightmare and I’ve gone from having a decent living and being able to do things with my friends to being on a student budget.

My friends are all at a stage where they can go out for a meal or drinks and have a weekend away without thinking about it too much, but I just can’t afford to do that stuff any more. In fact, I won’t be doing it for the next three or four years!

I don’t want to be one of those people who whinges about money all the time, but I also don’t want to miss out on my social life. I’m having serious doubts about what I’ve got myself into. If I finish this course, hopefully it’ll mean I can have my dream career, but is it worth it if I’m lonely and miserable?

People say timing is everything and I wonder if this just isn’t the right time for me. Now I’m single again, maybe I should be more focused on my personal and social life. Please advise – I feel very confused!

Coleen says

Well, there’s a lot of change going on in your work and personal life. This is always a bit scary and unsettling, but it doesn’t mean you’re on the wrong path. You must remind yourself why you joined this course and ultimately what it could lead to in terms of your long-term future.

Because things are hard right now, it might seem like the easiest option would be to ditch the course, but how will you feel a couple of years down the line when you’re still working in a job you don’t like?

Of course it’s challenging having less disposable income, but maybe it’s a question of being more selective about what you choose to do socially. You absolutely need downtime and the company of friends, but it doesn’t always have to cost a lot of money.

Some of the best nights I’ve had with friends have been at my house with a takeaway and a good rom-com on the telly. You can have fun and a good laugh anywhere.

So, explain to your friends that money will be tight over the next few years, and that you might not be able to come to everything.

If they’re good friends they’ll understand and will hopefully also bear your financial situation in mind when planning things, so you can join in, too.

I’ve gone from decent money to the budget of a student