The true hell of having a stalker
Worldwide hit Baby Reindeer reveals hidden trauma that affects so many
be sparked by even one incidence where the future stalker attains even a smidgen of attention from the person who eventually becomes their target.
“Although there are a range of mental health issues that can lead to stalking, many stalkers have narcissistic traits.
“They have such utterly deluded self-belief in the scenarios they create for themselves.
“They feel they are more than worthy of their target. They think along the lines of, ‘I know he/she really loves me,’ and ‘he/she’s lucky I’m paying them so much attention!’.
“They may even have a full-blown narcissistic personality disorder.”
Female stalkers in particular can have a love delusion, she says. “Stalkers, mainly women in this case, may have the delusion that someone – usually of a higher status – has fallen in love with them.
“Women have often had a previous relationship with their target.
“They often select men in the helping professions as their targets.
“There is a huge element of possessiveness in all stalking. If the stalker cannot possess their victim, this can enrage them. Men have a propensity to this sort of crime, finding it harder to take no for an answer.”
The Suzy Lamplugh Trust would agree. “We still see stalking as part of a spectrum of violence against women and girls crimes as they are disproportionately impacted by the crime,” says Tallulah. “But we run the helpline to support all victims of stalking, so if someone has been a victim, we encourage them to get in touch.”
But the Trust believes few authorities have the staff and skill set to tackle the crime. They issued Freedom of Information requests to find out about the number of specially trained staff in forces.
“Of 43 police forces, 27 responded, and only seven said explicitly they had at least one dedicated specialist stalking officer,” the Trust said. “Sadly too often victims of stalking aren’t getting the criminal justice outcome they need.”
Dr Pam’s new book, Eva the Bear and the Magic Snowflake, is available on Amazon.