When it came to the crunch, I took to biscuits
Stranded star Palin steadies his nerve in bandit country
GLOBETROTTING Michael Palin is rarely frightened on his travels but when push comes to shove he knows just what to do.
The seasoned traveller, 80, admitted becoming “slightly hysterical” when he and the crew got lost in Nigeria and one of their vehicles broke down in bandit country.
They had to wait hours for a mechanic to arrive and fix the fan belt. So true Brit Michael, showing an admirable stiff upper lip, eased the tension by seeking solace in a snack.
Pulling the packet out of his pocket, he laughs: “I’ve got my biscuits. Oxford cream crackers,” before munching on them as passers-by hooted and waved.
They were on their way to Benin City, in southern Nigeria.
Michael says: “I’m slightly hysterical. Whatever’s going to happen next I don’t know. We might have to enter Benin by parachute in the end.”
The dramatic scenes of the Monty Python star trying to complete a 1,300mile adventure in the West African country can be seen in the final part of his Channel 5 travel series tonight.
The journey to Benin, on a road where shoot-outs are common, proved particularly perilous.
First they hit gridlocked traffic, leaving Michael and the team as sitting ducks on a route that armed soldiers patrol to protect people from attacks.
They took a detour to get to safety but found themselves lost on a remote lane. Then the security vehicle broke down and they had a tense wait for the mechanic with the replacement fan belt.
But even when they were moving, it was hardly easy going. Lorries with horns blaring sped past Michael. Vehicles haphazardly swung back and forth across the road to avoid craters, kicking up clouds of dust.
He says: “In Nigeria, it doesn’t really matter what side of the road you drive on, you can end up driving straight into oncoming traffic.
“This is potentially the most dangerous part of this journey to Benin. The sheer weight of freight traffic creates gridlock and means we are potentially a sitting target.
“The road is paralysed, mile upon mile with trucks, none of which
can move anywhere.”
After the driver suggested a detour, Michael says: “We’re in really serious trouble now. We don’t know where it’s going to go, or how we’re going to get back on the main road.
“The driver deserves a medal for keeping us going.”
Unfortunately, the breakdown was not Michael’s only mechanical problem. He was with assistant producer Segilola Arisekola when a van got stuck in the mud. There was no proper towing gear and, he said, it “never really recovered”.
Later, Michael visited a village where an illegal oil refinery explosion killed 37 people, and he saw the terrible effects of oil pollution on the local river.
Michael Palin in Nigeria ends tonight, 9pm, Channel 5.