WHY IS SISTER-IN-LAW SO AGAINST ME?

DEAR JENNIFER: I married a wonderful man two years ago, but my happiness is being ruined by his sister.

She’s done all she can to make me feel unwelcome in the family, including not coming to the wedding.

She said at the time that she wasn’t well, but I know this to be a lie because she was at work the following day.

I also know that she is spreading nasty lies about me.

I get on well with another woman, who has married into the family and who sees them regularly. She tells me everything that is going on.

It seems my sister-in-law tells everyone that I am not good enough for her brother and that our marriage is not a good one. Which is rich because I also know that she and her husband are not in a good place because he has a gambling problem.

I am angry because I work hard at my marriage, and do what I can to keep our place looking good, as well as holding down a demanding full-time job.

She’s been bad-mouthing me on social media too. I have tried to rise above this, but it has been difficult.

Then, last week I heard from my friend that she’d been telling the family that I’ve been sleeping around. This is an outright lie.

I love my husband and would never cheat on him, so at this point I decided to call her and try to clear the air.

Unfortunately, it soon led to a massive row in which we ended up screaming at each other, which wasn’t what I wanted, and it hasn’t solved anything.

I am sure she’s spreading even more poison about me as I write this letter.

Why is she doing this? Could it be something I have done?

JENNIFER SAYS: It could be for any number of reasons, but my guess is she’s jealous of the happiness you have with her brother. She has no right to say these things, and I’m surprised you’ve waited two years to confront her about it.

Her own marriage would seem to be struggling, so perhaps she resents the loving relationship you have that she doesn’t.

I am not suggesting there was anything other than a normal brother/sister relationship between them, but it’s possible that her brother was her main source of support through what seems to be a difcult marriage.

Now that he is devoting more of his time to you, as he should, she might resent this too. Whatever her reasons, her behaviour is unacceptable.

Does your husband know what has been going on? If he doesn’t, now might be a good time to have this conversation with him. Explain what’s happened and ask for his help.

Of course, it’s possible he already knows but hasn’t said anything for fear of upsetting you. Either way, he’s the obvious way to reach out to his sister and ask her to stop what she is doing. Hopefully, this will also mend some bridges.

If not, he’ll at least know that both of you have made every effort to resolve this situation. And, if she continues to attack you in this way, perhaps a meeting with his family might be needed to put things straight.

Finally, please don’t feel guilty about what has happened. There is nothing wrong with being in a happy relationship, whatever anybody else thinks.