Be so kiln?

It’s a wild Atlantic way-hay... it’s Galway 2024 - European Capital of Nothing. Zero. Zip. Nada. Someone can ask someone at TG4 what the Irish for nothing is.

Starting today, Galway can begin its nonbid. It will cost a whole load of nothing,with more nothings added once additional noncosts are jumping on the non-bandwagon.

Then, after a few months, once nothing is decided, Galway can celebrate a non-victory - the non-awarding of a non-event. None of us can gather in Eyre Square.

We cannot bother to hold up a prop of some sort, possibly a big foam zero, and not pose for the Galway Advertiser.

Then, heaven forfend, if that doesn’t ignite public non-attention, we cannot put up flags. The non-putting-up-flags will herald

Galway had a few boat races pass through, and – once a few market stalls were set up around the docks – deemed a success.

There’s always been the “Culture” thing. Galway tries to own culture, like it’s a hotbed of creativity, cooled by the breeze over the unremoved dog dirt on the prom.

Nothing

So yeah, the natural progression is the Galway European Capital of Nothing.

Imagine a place where taxpayer money isn’t spaffed on flags. Imagine a place where, once the flags are ragged and the event is pissed away, more flags are tied.

Imagine a place where people got away with that, and got better off – and a lot of money vanished.

Next time – or next year – Galway should market itself as a non-festival place. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. And nothing swiped from the taxpayer for it.

Less Is More. Or, better again, let’s have no slogan. Let’s Not Do It Galway.