Pal will not get me job
BACK in January I lost my job in an unexpected shake-up.
But then my cousin told me about a vacancy at my mate’s firm. She suggested I get my pal to speak to her boss about me.
But “my mate” refused, point blank. She told me she didn’t wish to get involved.
I begged her to think again, but she turned me down flat. Now she thinks we can carry on hanging out and holidaying as usual.
Does she deserve to hear how angry I am? She and I have known each since college.
I’ve done her so many favours over the years.
She even lived with me for free when her marriage broke down. She still owes me £600.
JANE SAYS: There’s no denying that lot of people prefer to keep their professional and private lives separate.
Maybe your friend’s own position was
(or still is) precarious.
Maybe she’s struggling to hold everything together.
Ultimately, nothing entitles you to a job with her employer.
By all means tell her how bewildered you feel and gently ask if she’s able to give any feedback but don’t press it.
Ask for your money back and concentrate all your energy now on finding something suitable for yourself.
I’M terrified that my girlfriend is going to ask me to marry her tonight.
She’s been muttering about a Leap Year proposal for weeks.
I know that she’s planning a special meal at her place, but what if she gets down on one knee too? I’m freaked out. We’ve been together for just over a year. Time and time again, I’ve tried to make it clear that I’m not into big relationships. I’m only interested in great sex, fun and laughs.
I’m not interested in being tied down – I had all that with my ex. She was a nightmare. I endured five years of her rules and regulations. From banning me from my friends and family to hiding my phone and keys to make me think I was going crazy; she used every trick in the book to control and manipulate.
The day I finally walked away I vowed never to get trapped again. But that’s just what my current girl is edging towards. I’ve told her that I need my space, only she sulks if I don’t call her straight back and gives me a hard time for going out with my pals.
On a good day she can be fine; we go for nice walks and our sex life is varied and exciting, but she is not my world. When we first got together, I explained that I wanted to keep things light. She said that she was cool with that.
Nights out in crazy bars and clubs followed and I thought she was great. But then she had a massive strop at a family party when she caught me chatting with my own cousin. She was jealous! Just recently she’s started talking about a wedding, children, a mortgage and I can feel a rising panic inside. Why can’t she simply enjoy what we’ve got?
JANE SAYS: The fact is that today is February 29. Traditionally women are ‘allowed’ to propose to their loved one as the roles are reversed. It may seem like an archaic concept but there will be plenty of women doing the honours with good and bad outcomes.
I think you need to get in first and tell your girlfriend, NOW, that you are not interested in commitment or marriage. Be gentle, be respectful and kind; but honesty must be the best policy.
If she’s planning a big meal and proposal tonight, then she’s entitled to a head’s up.
Clearly, you’re a popular guy who people want to spend time with. But sadly, you always seem to attract the same sort of partner – the insecure, jealous type. Your ex was a nightmare and now your current squeeze is attempting to pin you down too. No one could blame her for wishing to map out her future but if you don’t truly love the woman and everything she’s proposing then you have to tell her “No thanks” and talk some more.
Is she interested in the kind of casual relationship you’re offering, or does she need to move on and find someone new? You can’t wait until she’s cooked and served a meal before saying “No thanks”. She deserves better than that.