Simon goes into (Bachman Turner) overdrive to launch his own Moonshot
WE can only put it down to an outbreak of false modesty.
Pressed on his achievements on his final day in the Taoiseach’s chair, Leo Varadkar humbly suggested maybe it was keeping the country free of a hard border?
Perhaps beating the Brits at the Battle of Brexit?
Or reshaping Ireland as a more tolerant nation for women and same sex couples?
Of course we all knew his real impact went far beyond these mundane earthly matters.
His legacy in fact echoes all the way out into the vastness of space and past the final frontier.
Because it was on Leo’s watch, as eagle eyed readers here may recall, that Ireland finally signed the global outer space treaty – 53 years after first making a political promise to do so.
The ‘Treaty on Principles Governing the Activities of States in the Exploration and Use of Outer Space’ – to give it its full impressive title — covers the really big stuff.
Rights
It deals with things like the rights and responsibilities of nations in outer space, and the governing of property and mining rights on the moon.
It may be the most socialist bill ever sponsored by a Fine Gael leader as it declares bodies like the moon a ‘commons’ for all mankind, as opposed to a playground for hedge funds. Which is possibly why Leo neglected to mention it amongst his finest achievements.
However on Monday, in a spooky alignment that suggests the Gods were well pleased with him, his arrival to hand in his notice at the Aras coincided almost exactly with a total eclipse – that great celestial dance between the moon, the sun and the earth.
The outgoing Taoiseach could have been forgiven for stealing a glance up at this awe-inspiring space ballet that makes the affairs of men seem like puny specs of hubris and ego in the cosmos.
Meanwhile just a short way across town the man who would be king may also have wondered about these strange portents in the sky.
Simon Harris could find he too needs the Gods to smile on him. Especially if he is to pay the ransom on the rather large hostage to fortune he has staked his reputation on - a promise to build 250,000 houses in the next five years.
It is his own Moonshot.
He pledged to get the kids out of their parents’ boxrooms in this decade, not because it is easy, but because it is hard, to paraphrase another dashing young leader.
For some reason best known to himself, the 37-year-old Taoiseach backed it up by channelling late night,1970s’ DJ vibes.
He went full ‘Smashie and Nicey’ from Harry Enfield’s FAB FM in choosing a soundtrack for his reign.
Forget the 21st century permacrisis, crank Bachman Turner Overdrive up to 11 on the box room stereo because ‘You aint seen nothing yet!!’
Which of course is Simon’s second hostage to fortune.
As a slogan it invites voters to wonder does he mean it in a Samuel Beckett sort of way? As in, this is only the worst housing crisis of your life…yet. Wait ‘til you see what we have in store next!
For the sake of all the kids in the box rooms of Ireland we can but hope Simon’s promise of a quarter of a million homes is delivered quicker than the 53 years it took the space bill to reach the final frontier.
SOME may say this week’s cabinet reshuffle amounts to nothing more than rearranging the deckchairs on the Titanic.
But there has been at least one significant shift in the soft shake-up.
Leo Varadkar famously wanted to lead a nation of people who “got up early in the