Bell-ringers, bakers... what secrets lurk in your office?
YOU think you know people – and then they go and say they don’t recycle. When a colleague announced casually at a meeting that recycling was just too much trouble when living in a small apartment, the assembly’s eyebrows shot to heaven, unsure whether it was a gag or a serious admission.
Did we secretly admire the offender, or were we considering ostracism for this most middle class of sins? No one was prepared to throw the first stone. Workplaces are hotbeds of secrets hidden behind a veneer of civility. What other peccadilloes might this office hold? I don’t really know these people at all.
I used to work with a chap who was a campanologist (that’s a bell-ringer to you and me) in his spare time. He didn’t brag about it, but the bulging arm muscles finally made sense when he casually dropped it into conversation.
One fella the desk over likes to bake bread – lashings and lashings of bread. His passion came to light only when he deposited a loaf of soda bread on everyone’s chair. Don’t get me wrong, it was good scran, dense and flavoursome and baked according to the mammy’s buttermilk recipe. But he was the last man you’d pick as a ‘Bake-Off’ wannabe.
My secret? Of the ones I’ll admit, I’ll cop to growing basil. Bushels and bushels of the stuff. Turns out it’s no biggie if you’ve got a sunny sill and a bit of patience. Just call me the basil whisperer. Top tip: those plants you can buy in the supermarket won’t survive unless you split the root ball into three or four and transplant them into separate pots. You’re welcome.
Let the Olympic videogames begin...
WHAT’S your definition of an athlete? My guess is that it would involve the words “sweat”, “exertion”, “training” and “pain” in varying combinations. How would you characterise an Olympian? Surely, that’s an elite athlete who sacrifices everything in the pursuit of a medal. Someone who plans their lives eight or even 12 years ahead down to the last morsel, the last gym session. It can’t be a teenager who furiously wiggles a mouse and slaps a keyboard a thousand times a minute. Can it? Competitive videogaming is now an Olympic event. Well, almost. The Olympic Council of Asia (OCA) has agreed to include esports at the 2022 Asian Games in Hangzhou in China as a medal event. It makes its debut as a demonstration event at the 2018 Asian Games in Indonesia. According to the OCA, the decision mirrors “the rapid development and popularity of this new form of sports participation among the youth”.
The Asian Games, which come under the umbrella of the IOC, are touted as the world’s secondbiggest multi-sport event after the Olympics. It doesn’t take a leap of the imagination to see esports promoted to the top tier within 10 years. Maybe the most popular TV coverage of the 2024 or 2028 Games will involve cameras trained on intense young men and women staring at their screens as they fiercely bash the keys.
Before you scoff, may I remind you that esports are watched by 320 million people and generate north of $500m in revenue annually. And remember an Olympic sports roster that previously included tug-of-war and croquet…
Biscuit recipes going to the dogs
THE Sunday had started so well, with a pleasant jog of a few miles in bright sunshine. Was this sport? The idea was for myself and herself to run to the local weekend market with the dog, enjoy a snack, take a little rest and then run home.
We scanned the merchandise, boggled at the tat and argued about what to eat. My eye was drawn to the sign saying: “Free sample, take one”. So I did, not really paying attention nor caring for the bland biscuity nibble.
It was then I caught the eye of the stallholder whose expression changed in that moment from confusion to benign amusement. I looked at her, looked at the sign over her stall and said: “That’s a dog treat, isn’t it?”
She laughed and trilled: “It’s okay, it’s completely edible. I’ve tried them myself.”
I pulled my other half away from the dog collars she was browsing and hissed: “We have to leave. Now.”