Parents, may we have a word in your ear?
CONGRATULATIONS! Your son or daughter is entering higher education. All that effort they put in, as well as all those years of encouraging and nurturing and guiding that you put in as a parent or guardian have paid off.
For most parents, the pride and joy that are experienced when their son or daughter heads off to college are often coupled with twinges of worry. Every family is unique as is each individual within it, with their own particular challenges, joys, expectations, and concerns.
It’s an emotional journey for both parents and students. When students go to higher education for the first time, their maturity and independence evolve at a rapid pace.
They develop support systems outside the family unit and start to fine-tune their own interests and problem-solving abilities. This transitional period can be filled with a mixture of emotions for both parent and student. We hope that the joys will far outweigh any concerns.
The transition into third level education is complex — exciting and scary all at the same time for both students and parents. It is a transition for you as well as for your student. When they are in college there are a few things you can do to make the transition and adjustment easier.
Be patient with your student and allow for space and privacy; Have trust in your student; Accept who your student is becoming without judgment or criticism;
Provide assistance and reassurance when needed;
Readjust expectations when your child is home from college; Show your love. Though your role changes, you will still need to parent — just in a different way. Provide assistance or reassurance as your student pursues new interests and passions.
Remember that stress is one of the main factors affecting academic performance. Some stress can be prevented, but not all stress is avoidable, so it’s important to help students learn to cope with it effectively. Strategies include regular exercise, healthy nutrition (particularly cutting back on caffeine and sugar), meditation and fun social activities.
It is important also to stay connected. Whether it’s by email, text or a phone call, be supportive when you communicate, and let your student know that you will always be available. Work out an agreement as to how often you expect them to contact you, and in what circumstances and how often you will contact them.
When your student comes home, over time they will become more mature, which means you may need to renegotiate house rules and expectations. Be flexible and find a compromise where you will both be happy.
Having patience, being flexible, and keeping the lines of communication open can help create and maintain a healthy relationship.