Orla O’Connor

Media’s message must be ‘don’t rape’, as opposed to ‘don’t get raped’

AWOMAN is never to blame for being raped. It doesn’t matter what she was wearing or what she was drinking, or if she went back to his room, or if she had sex with his friend, or if she had sex with him before, or if she said yes and then changed her mind. The only person who can ever be blamed for rape is the rapist.

This is something which you think does not need to be said, but in light of George Hook’s comments on ‘High Noon’ on Newstalk last Friday, when he asked “But is there no blame now to the person who puts themselves in danger?”, it appears we need to say it again.

Comments like these are dangerous. They not only say that rape is the fault of the woman, but they tell future victims that it is their duty to avoid being raped. It tells women if they are careful, they can avoid being raped, and that if they are raped, they obviously weren’t being careful enough.

This has a detrimental impact on women who have been raped or sexually assaulted, and on women who are thinking of reporting crimes of sexual violence. They also negate the immense work of NGOs and An Garda Síochána to encourage victims to come forward, seek help, report and go through the criminal justice system to hold perpetrators to account.

Violent men are socialised by women’s inequality, they are enabled by the structural sexism that impacts our lives daily.

Comments like Mr Hook’s make it seem like there is a grey area to consent, by erasing the perpetrator from the story and focusing firmly on the actions of the victim.

Even worse, these comments send the message to women that they can somehow protect themselves by being more vigilant, more careful, or more mindful of their actions.

This is not an area where there is room for debate. Our society should enable women to live free from harm, and safe from violence. We won’t break the cycle of men’s violence against women until we break the stigma, and create a society that encourages women to come forward and report, and holds perpetrators to account.

Rape is not a crime of opportunity, which occurs because of something a woman did or did not do. Rape is a violent, controlling act, that is most often perpetrated by someone who is known to the victim. The majority of rapists aren’t men who lurk in alleys, but are men we know. They’re our friends, our brothers, our colleagues, our classmates, our boyfriends, and our husbands.

As a society, we should not accept these dangerous comments as ‘off-the-cuff’ remarks. Unfortunately, they are views which are held by a proportion of society, as we can see in the comments on social media to defend the views of Mr Hook. However, we are seeing in the National Women’s Council of Ireland (NWCI) a growing outrage from across society regarding sexual violence. The withdrawal of sponsorship by the Dalata Hotel Group of Newstalk is an important public marker that it is no longer

acceptable to express these views and significant consequences will follow. Similarly the NWCI has submitted complaints to Newstalk and the Broadcasting Authority of Ireland (BAI), and many others have submitted complaints.

Stronger action is now required from Newstalk if the station is to gain trust from its women listeners and rebuild its reputation. And we need to go further – we need a deeper societal conversation that focuses on the perpetrators and the causes of sexual violence. We also need to provide greater support for victims and to strengthen our criminal justice response so that the threat of prosecutions and sanctions can provide a real threat to the perpetuation of these crimes.

By engaging in victim-blaming attitudes, society allows the abuser to perpetrate relationship abuse or sexual assault while avoiding accountability for those actions.

Women getting blamed for being raped is a tale as old as time, but a strong message has been sent this week that this attitude is no longer acceptable, and media who put forward this case will not receive a receptive audience.

Broadcasters and print media have a responsibility toward their listeners and readers, some of whom will have experienced rape and may be planning to report. They need to be unequivocal in their message of “don’t rape”, as opposed to “don’t get raped”.

Orla O’Connor is director of the National Women’s Council of Ireland and chair of the Irish Observatory on Violence Against Women