Three topless women silenced John B’s – and gave a lesson in strength

LAST week we left the readers wishing it was next week after a potboiler of a column. Well it’s next week now. Just to remind you, I was in our sitting room with three girls who were wearing only body paint for tops.

They were about to go downstairs to John B’s to raise awareness for Bare to Care, a breast cancer charity.

Anna-Marie Quigley came all the way from Portrush to Listowel in honour of Jade, her partner, who died from cancer. Anna-Marie had a double mastectomy. She was very nervous while the paint was being applied. It was the first time anyone had seen her since the operation.

Bex Toland, who is originally from Donegal but now lives in Cork, and Corkonian Siobhan Heapes were also given the paint-over. All three girls have suffered their share.

So there I am not knowing where to look, up in our sitting room, taking down notes on the lives of three very brave women.

Bex is 28 and she suffered from “savage periods”. Bex is all in. “I cried with pain during my periods. The pain was unbearable.”

Her condition was such that it piled on the pounds and poor Bex had terrible trouble accepting her own body. She looks very well now. Bex lost six stone, and after she bared her body for charity she declared: “I felt beautiful for about a week afterwards.”

Bex will never be able to have kids. She says she cannot justify spending thousands on having her eggs frozen in times when people are starving and homeless. I hope some day she changes her mind.

We need more people like Bex. She’s brave, beautiful and totally free. Bex accepts her own body and has no inhibitions or nervousness about getting herself painted over for Bare to Care.

This crusade started out with just one column about the two big charity events Bare to Care is hosting in November but, as I discovered, there was so much more going on.

Why, for example, is there not a scheme in place for women to freeze their embryos until such time as they are ready to have their ovaries fertilised? If we are sincere about the right to life, surely the bringing of life in to the world must be a priority.

So there we were at the top of our stairs, ready to go down below in to the bar. And me leading on three brave ladies, all dressed up in paint.

I let out a roar, more to get me brave than the girls. It was “Up the Emmets”. The Emmets are our local football club, and then seconds later we were in the packed pub.

Ken Hughes, who looks after the PR for Bare to Care, set the scene. He told us one in two of all Irish people will get cancer. He spoke to a silent pub and ended up by saying: “Girls, check those breasts.”

The three girls spoke. We have told you the stories from Anna-Marie and Bex.

Siobhan Heapes is 53 and she has had both breast and ovarian cancer. There wasn’t even so much as the clink of a glass when she spoke.

“It’s all about self-diagnosis. I lost my womb and my ovaries. I was not taking my body seriously. I teach dance. ‘The dancing heart path’, I call it. You observe how you feel. And you can be sick and wonderful.”

Her words recalled something my mother said to me here in our pub and it was an old saying from north Kerry. “You have to be your own doctor once you hit 40.” In other words, take notice of the signs and messages coming from your own body.

THIS couple got up and left. She said to me: “What would your mother and father think of this? They are turning in their graves.” Sometimes in a pub when there’s drink involved, the best response is no response.

Best to talk after in the cold light of another day. I am well sick of people turning my parents in to some sort of cemetery rotisserie. If I had spoken, here’s what I would have said: “How dare you tell me how my parents would have reacted? My mam and dad died from cancer and there wasn’t much I could do about it. Maybe the baring of bodies might save lives.”

I spotted Anna-Marie out in the kitchen chatting away to locals. She was drinking a pint and was totally relaxed. Anna-Marie found her confidence and her tribe. To think this was the first time anyone saw her after the double mastectomy.

“I feel…” she struggled for the word and then Anna-Marie said “beautiful”.

Eoin Hand, the former Republic of Ireland player and manager, sang ‘After the Ball’.

Frances Kennedy, who has two million YouTube hits, gave us ‘The Ryanair Song’. She was going to sing ‘The Wonderbra’.

Mickey Mac Connell sang us his new song ‘The Gypsy Band of Brothers’. It’s about losing your siblings. We cried again. And poet Gabriel Fitzmaurice recited Clair O’Connor’s poem about mastectomy.

Four nurses who work with cancer patients came along. Is there any more giving or noble profession?

Our nurses live with cancer patients every day of their working lives. They bring so much comfort. I will never forget their kindness and professionalism when my mother and father were in their dying days.

Thanks again to all my friends who came to give support to a very jumpy barman.

I learned a lot over these last few weeks. There is so much going on in women’s bodies. We need a national conversation, education and more bare, brave ladies.

Not everyone in the bar got the event. And I thought we were very much on message.

This woman present and sober didn’t even know Anna-Marie was painted over.

“Where did she get that lovely top with the eagle on it?” she asked.

“Penneys,” replied her friend.