GAA’s finest shine at All-Star Awards
Valuable sporting lessons helped to shape me on and off the field
Dublin footballer Con O’Callaghan and Aoife Kane arrive at the PwC All Stars 2017 at the Convention Centre in Dublin. CLUXTON SNUB AS MORAN GETS REWARD, SEE SPORT
AFTER months of preparation, hardship and selection dilemmas, cruelly, it could all be decided by one kick of a football. A moment that could make or break my teenage spirit, cement my status in the annals of St Michael’s AFC history, for better or for worse, as the penalty shoot-out in our Tipperary Cup U-16 final against Clonmel Town goes to sudden-death.
I can see my coach Richie O’Halloran tentatively scanning his remaining spot-kick options with concern, including this at-times clumsy striker who had not even made his starting team.
Desperate to have a shot at glory, I lock eyes with him, pleading to get the nod. While I’m not the most gifted soccer player technically, I am usually good for a few goals a season and am desperate to prove I can produce the goods under pressure, I just need the opportunity.
“Go on, Alan. Stick it in the net,” he says, possibly through gritted teeth, as eyebrows are raised all around him.
That is all my youthful exuberance needs – the backing of my coach. I bound up towards the penalty spot with my chest puffed out. My manager believes I will score, that’s enough to suppress doubts from creeping into my mind.
GLORIOUS
As the ball hits the net, the glorious combination of relief and elation courses through my veins, and when we win the cup two penalties later, I’m on cloud nine. It’s ‘Roy of the Rovers’ stuff, my fellow substitute Anthony McGrath dispatching the decisive kick, and I’ve learned a number of valuable life lessons in one nail-biting afternoon.
It’s incredible that a memory such as that, in soccer of all games, is so often revisited in my catalogue of sporting endeavours. A day that helped shape me as a young man, all because of the faith shown in me by my coach.
I was incredibly fortunate to have so many good coaches throughout my life, whether it was in rugby, soccer, Gaelic games or swimming. All of them treated me with respect and contributed to me eventually forging a career as a professional sportsperson.
Having digested a lot of the discourse around the coaching of children in recent weeks, including Sinead Kissane’s excellent column in last Saturday’s Irish Independent, and trying to get my head around the heinous crime committed by Tom Humphries, I couldn’t help but think how lucky I was to have had so many people make such a positive impact on me as a kid.
It’s an unthinkable scenario as a parent that your child would be subjected to such life-changing damage in what you assume to be a safe environment; I dread to think how I would respond in such a situation. Your heart bleeds for the victims in these cases, such horrific abuse can break a child’s spirit and destroy a child’s life.
High-profile cases such as this also shine an uncomfortable light on children’s coaches, the vast majority of whom are selflessly giving up their free time, and testing their patience with unhealthy regularity, to make a positive impression on the next generation. At times like this, it’s important to remember the brilliant job they do.
I was recently asked by my son’s school, St Mary’s, to help out with their rugby team. I’ve done a bit of coaching before and it’s the least I can do after all of the help I’ve had along the way over the years.
As part of the process, I need to get garda vetted, and there is a part of me that instinctively finds the process bothersome, even though it’s obviously in place to help protect our children.
It got me thinking about all of the stresses of coaching kids. The vetting process is just a bit of red tape but as a coach there are so many combustible elements – you are also answerable to parents if something goes wrong. What if a kid gets injured, if they don’t get picked, or if I raise my voice at one of them?
I have so much admiration for those who coach young kids; they’re helping to build their characters and shape them as young people. I’ve already seen a massive development in my own son playing sport in the past year or so.
My little fella is playing soccer with Leicester Celtic in Rathfarnham under the tutelage of Gerry Whelan, who has brought the team from U-9 through to U-10 this season.
It’s enlightening seeing AJ playing soccer, I can almost see myself out on the field on a Sunday morning; the lack of concentration, the giddiness, and the competitive edge, which makes me very proud.
The relationship Gerry has with those young boys is incredible. All they want to do is run around and play, so to see how much they have developed as soccer players over the past year is testament to Gerry’s coaching abilities.
I just love the commitment he gives, and the way he goes about it. Sometimes as parents we get a bit chirpy and want to interfere. My competitive mentality itches to get out on the sideline on occasion, I can get wound up and have to rein it in, and that’s as a bystander.
Like any coach, Gerry is not always flavour of the month; he needs to be authoritative at times and it’s a great lesson for kids to learn at an early age.
It’s remarkable how that player-coach dynamic remains so important and difficult to balance, whether it is with an U-10 soccer team or in an international rugby dressing-room.
Sport is a great teacher of discipline, and while some of the methods used during my early rugby years wouldn’t be accepted nowadays, I was wild and regularly needed to be set straight.
When I was young, we had a coach who was a tough disciplinarian. He put the fear of God into us but we still loved him to death. He was great craic off the field, but you didn’t cross him when he was on the training pitch.
He had a little flag pole in his hand when we were doing rucking sessions or hitting tackle-pads, practising our technique, and if you were off target or going in too high you’d get a clip of the stick across the back.
It was nothing sinister but brought a nervous edge to the drills and helped focus those of us who were easily distracted, with yours truly the biggest culprit for wandering off to a far-away land.
We won so many matches and we were incredibly close-knit, and that was all down to the coach because when we looked at him we saw someone who would protect us, fight for us and do everything he could to make us better.
Coaches always had a profound impact on me, even in my professional career. I remember sitting in front of Declan Kidney in the summer of 2000 knowing that my future was in his hands.
It was undecided whether I’d get another contract with Munster and some tough questions were asked. Was I training hard enough? Was my discipline good enough? Was my attitude right?
We ended up having a very open and frank conversation about where I was at, what I wanted to achieve and how I wanted to change. It was a transformative discussion.
I left the room that day knowing that while Declan was hard on me, he believed in me and just wanted to get the best out of me.
MEETING
After that meeting he offered me a new contract, and it gave me a new lease of life. I went on to regain my place in the Munster team, to play for Ireland and secure a national contract.
It doesn’t matter whether you’re an awkward teenage striker or a professional rugby player, the relationship you have with your coach is an incredibly powerful thing.
One coach abusing their position of power has changed a young girl’s life forever and has also hurt the thousands of dedicated volunteers who do an incredible job training youngsters all over the country every week.
We must not forget that their incredible work still deserves to be championed.