It’s so funny how we don’t talk any more
I’VE suspected for some time that something really weird is going on. The older I get, the more I notice that talking – the actual act of verbal communication – seems to have gone entirely out of fashion. It’s happened so gradually that sometimes I think I’m imagining it, but then I look around in the office, on the bus, in the playground, and it hits me again: people just don’t speak that much any more. We’re so reliant on screens, we’re not even talking to other people we’re with.
As an inveterate chatterer – OK, loudmouth – I find this shif t frankly terrif ying, and it seems I’m not the only one.
At an address at the Irish American University in Dublin this week, broadcaster Olivia O’Leary lamented the reduction of modern
communication to emojis, and remarked she frequently saw parents ignoring their small children because they were busy with their phones.
Studies showed that some words were becoming extinct, she said, because they simply weren’t being used.
“Our vocabularies are shrinking because we’re simply not talking to each other as much,” she said.
Millennials are blamed for a lot of things, but in this instance they have a case to answer. Not for nothing have they been dubbed Generation Mute; having grown up in the digital age, they have spent less time in the physical company of their peers than they have chatting with them online.
A recent study found half of teenagers would happily text or instant message someone in the same room. That silence is now infecting wider society in a most unsettling way. A lot is lost when you rely on digital communication. Editing the features pages at this newspaper, I can always spot when a reporter has included quotes sent to them by email. The quotes are f lat, boring and on-message, yet they are becoming the norm, – just like real-life conversations with friends are being replaced by SnapChatting and WhatsApping and whatever you’re having yourself. Actually picking up the phone is considered an act of aggression akin to starting a nuclear war. Having a conversation is more time-consuming because it meanders, but it ’s that very meandering that helps you uncover what makes someone tick. O’Leary’s sage advice was that we put down our phones and actually talk to one another. I couldn’t agree with her more.
Granny is just doing her job
THE prize for most alarming study of the week goes to the Glaswegian researchers who found that grandparents are a potential health hazard for their grandchildren because they are more likely to smoke around them or feed them oversized portions of fatty foods. Obviously there’s no excuse for the smoking, but when it comes to the treats, really, I think it’s a grandparent’s job to be a bit indulgent.
My eldest is frequently to be found at his granny’s kitchen table, happily munching on a biscuit she’s procured from the cupboard because he’s tired or upset or, you know, just because she loves him. Biscuits aren’t the only bad habit he’s acquired from his grandparents. His introduction to the murky world of kids’ TV came via his granddad. Worn out by chasing a toddler around the kitchen for several hours, he caved, grabbed the remote control, and alighted on ‘In The Night Garden’. So began an enduring – and irritating – love affair with the Pinky Ponk and the Tombliboos.
Do I care? Not remotely. The infinite love and endless patience with which my boys are treated by all four of their grandparents never fails to take my breath away. They spend long hours reading books, playing games or doing jigsaws when they could be off enjoying a bit of well-earned peace and quiet in their retirement.
The biscuits and the Tombliboos will soon be forgotten. But the security and love our boys have got from their grandparents will last them a lifetime.
No surprises at school reunion
I APPROACHED my school reunion at the weekend with trepidation. I was dreading having to make small talk with people I hadn’t seen for two decades, but also eaten up with curiosity to see them again. What would 20 years have done to us all?
The surprise was, that, by and large, there were no surprises.
The straight-talking, straight-A student is now a top barrister. The girl with a voice like an angel works in the music industr y. The maths whizz is a hedge-fund high-f lyer. Of course, that’s only half the stor y. There was talk of businesses and babies, bereavements and break-ups – all the messiness of middle age seeping out from under the more polished professional veneer.
It was good to see them. It was good, in the end, to talk.