TWEETS OF THE WEEK

MONDAY

STOKE CITY

39’ Shawcross incredibly lucky! Lee Mason gives a free-kick, but in all honesty it looked a penalty (0-1)

The club’s tweet will be forgotten the next time Mark Hughes moans about a ref

TUESDAY

NEVILLE SOUTHALL I wonder if I’m nearly a celebrity will show ladies in shower at some point Just to prove they wash obviously Not a shallow attempt to gain viewers He’s back – and he’s as accurate as ever

WEDNESDAY

LORIS KARIUS

It was a strong first half performance, but the result was not what we wanted. Even though it’s still in our own hand to finish top of the group #ynwa #ucl #lk1 Liverpool goalkeeper puts a positive spin on losing a 3-0 half-time lead. One of the few

THURSDAY

ZLATAN IBRAHIMOVIC

My horse is speaking for himself and only warming up. CSI YH Lier - Grande Dieni (6yo by Eldorado) 2nd place. Presumably the horse, if it won, would utter some nonsense about being a lion

FRIDAY

HARRY REDKNAPP

This joker must have been in a hurry to get his #GAMEDeadlineDeals before me. Not a chance... I’m on it like Sonic! To think the former manager wasn’t happy to be labelled a wheeler-dealer

SATURDAY

NATHAN AKE

Tough game today, not the best performance but still got a point and a clean sheet. We move on to wednesday

CHARLIE DANIELS

Another point on the board and another clean sheet! Disappointed not to win but another chance Wednesday. Thank you to all the fans that travelled and safe trip home.

Bournemouth players – as they so often are – on the same page

SUNDAY

KOLO TOURE

Shut the f*** up

The Ivorian lands a two-footer on Piers Morgan