Sinead Ryan: Notebook
Every day is an adventure in world of apps and tech – but not for us left-behind parents
THOSE of us not in our, ahem, first flush of youth, can’t be expected to be across all the new trendy tech stuff all the time, but we try. I use apps, for instance. Some are marvellous like the bank and taxi-ordering and the one that switches on the heating when I’m out. I’ve found my way onto a tiresome number of WhatsApp groups and my kids made me add Messenger and Snapchat under threat of never hearing from them otherwise. They document, with singular enthusiasm, their exhaustive movements. I’m fairly certain I’m getting an edited version showing regular meals and healthy walks.
My own day, if documented photographically, would be a less than arresting array of imagery mainly involving ironing, writing and hoovering.
Theirs appear in a blur of excitement. Even travelling on the bus or eating lunch, once you add filters, memes, gifs (did that sound down with the kids? Good!), makes any day look like an adventure in a theme park. But when I respond in kind, I’m rewarded with a patronising “Ah, look at mum, with her cat filter … go mum!”
When it comes to Spotify I refuse to pay because I bought all those albums the first time around on vinyl, so suck up the incredibly loud ads voiced by irritating Londoners.
I was recently shown the ‘Daily Mix’ album the software (scarily) personalises for you and I’ve discovered with alarm that my ‘Spotify Age’ is at least 10 years older than my real one.
I’m blaming an algorithm, naturally. Otherwise, it means some spotty intern is sitting on a beanbag in California trying to fathom why Mozart is on the same list as ZZ Top. So he offers me Bobby Darin and Andy Williams. Who aren’t bad, actually…
Plane to see size matters
ONa f light home from Malaga I had a robust exchange with a check-in agent who tried to charge me €40 for being over weight. The bag, you understand. It followed a spirited spending spree, but I squashed it all in and hoped for the best.
I argued about the few extra kilos but she wasn’t having any of it. While we were ‘debating’ a man checked in beside me. He was well over 20 stone; as round as he was tall. He smiled, she smiled, he passed through without a blink.
But I, of relatively regular size, had to fork out forty quid for the equivalent weight of his left arm in excess baggage. His own excess baggage, costing far more to carry, was ignored.
Now look, I’m not for whipping out the scales in a public terminal, but there are growing calls for very overweight passengers to pay their fair share.
A survey from Jetcost.co.uk showed 80pc of passengers believe if you take up more than the average passenger weight, you should pay for it.
A fifth claimed they have had to move seats to ‘reclaim’ their space after losing the armrest in the folds of their neighbour’s stomach. Some airline policies already state if you cannot fit the extension seatbelt with the armrest down, you must pay for two seats.
Samoa Air has found a smart solution. They simply created a wider row with fewer seats for passengers weighing over 130kg, with an app that ‘size scans’ you at check in. Amid claims of ‘segregation’, it did at least have the benefit of making all passengers comfortable, including those squished into too-small seats.
And then those of us who add weight by over-shopping will know we’re paying for the luxury.
RESEARCH from the ESRI shows that almost half of Irish workers think they are too good or over qualified for their job and are dissatisfied and plan to move.
Thank goodness then for LinkedIn.
The business end of social networking means you can showcase your talents to a wider public, and let the world know you’re on the lookout for a new gig.
The service does more than that though. Even when you’re not in the market, it sends you helpful links to jobs it thinks are just dandy. For me, this week’s picks include ‘Turkish expert subtitle editor’ and ‘body coach’.
Either my profile needs serious updating, or LinkedIn could advertise for a decent ‘job finder’ within its ranks.
Helping you to find missing link