We can’t exclude men if the #MeToo revolution is to bring lasting change
‘Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.’ – Mark Twain.
THIS week I found myself wondering, is Nigella Lawson a feminist? Where would this delectable, domestic goddess fit in the #MeToo campaign?
For those who prefer their feminist voices to come from women with superior feminist credentials, Ms Lawson may not be their cup of tea. Say what you want about her unique recipe for success, this savvy businesswoman is a supreme media operator.
Someone who has built an enormous financial empire on casual spoon-licking, sexual innuendo and bizarre negligée-clad nocturnal visits to the kitchen to deep-fat fry all sorts of stuff in butter.
All, might I add, without putting on a pound (what a bitch). Comfortable with exploiting her sexuality, she’s not hurting anyone really? She’s simply using what God gave her. And we are all OK with that, because it’s Nigella.
More pertinently perhaps is that she has triumphed in the face of adversity at the hands of a powerful man. To many women, she is a role model for triumph. To others, however, her agreement to be objectified is abhorrent. Diverging opinions on feminism are not confined or exclusive to men.
A battle broke out in France this week between campaigners against sexual harassment and a group of prominent women who argue overzealous allegations threaten their sexual freedom. The complexities of the social revolution around sexual harassment will not remain unchallenged.
Nor should they.
#MeToo was undoubtedly a welcome watershed moment which gave women a platform to come together to support each other, to break their silence about sexual harassment and assault.
At first, it was the enormous Hollywood tsars who came crashing to Earth with a bang. It has since expanded to ancillary industries and on into the political world.
Sexual harassment and/or abuse in any professional environment is not a new development. What is new is a willingness to speak out and share painful experiences.
The sheer volume, social demographic and public profile of women prepared to do just that was bolstered by a new weapon. Social media became an armament which moved the exposure from behind closed doors of boardrooms and expensive legal firms directly into the public domain. Platforms became modern-day guillotines and heads began to roll.
Once victims, these women were now in control. Sharing stories on platforms has become the weapon du jour. Instead of surreptitious side deals carved up to cover up, careers died in full public gaze.
We all had front-row seats for stories about grabbing and groping in exotic Hollywood hotels. All the more attention-grabbing because the agents of destruction were globally recognisable screen starlets.
Buoyed by their movie siren icons, new voices were soon coming forward from every avenue of life.
Collectively, it represented the groundswell of a social revolution that has upset the equilibrium we have all come to comfortably live with for far too long.
This uprising has led to a more open and accepting discussion on issues as far-ranging as the level of acceptable work-related behaviour right through to gender pay issues. But where to now?
The first flush of every revolution is embraced with enthusiasm and hope. However, in between all of this discussion we need to be very careful positive discrimination does not sully the progress of this debate.
A dangerous narrative is creeping into the debate which seeks to make the discussion about sides rather than society as a whole. Men in particular are often sidelined in debates with a dismissive “you wouldn’t understand” charge. Masculinity cannot become a toxic entity in itself.
Ireland’s same-sex marriage referendum in 2015 taught us several valuable lessons. Firstly, no campaign, no matter how compelling, will ever be won simply through the support of those invested in its success. No one group can successfully change a nation’s mindset, behaviour or laws. Another valuable lesson that we learned was that the LGBTQ+ community could no longer simply be categorised as gay. Within a community we thought we knew was a diverse fluidity, a more complex community making different life choices.
It is the same for women. If all that modern feminism is now asking is that we are all afforded the same rights and equal treatment then – just as was the case with change for the LGBTQ+ community – it is everyone’s responsibility.
Every right-thinking woman and every thoughtful man is rooting for #MeToo to succeed, but it is not just about exposing male misbehaviour.
Moral distinctions between high crimes and workplace behaviour will only succeed if they are questioned and debated rationally. One-way conversations are destructive and have the potential to drive the current momentum of opportunity into the ground unless they are balanced and inclusive. Movements need to be nurtured and directed carefully. If public punishment supersedes education and reform, we will have missed a vital
Men are often sidelined with a dismissive ‘you wouldn’t understand’ charge. We can’t let masculinity become a toxic entity in itself
opportunity to change the status quo for women’s rights. Having dragged the issue of sexism and gender equality onto the front pages, the only way to harness its potential is through influencing decision makers, corporate leaders and legislators.
THE French government, for example, has decided to take some real and tangible action and pledged to confront sexual harassment and assault. President Emmanuel Macron has said that women live in a society “sick with sexism” and has stated that he will make gender equality the national cause of his five-year term in office.
His government is currently crafting new legislation to introduce fines for verbal sexual harassment and is organising a nationwide consultation on how to strengthen the bill. That is progress.
It will be a difficult task given the kaleidoscope of contradictions within French society – a nation that boasts a high percentage of female workers, yet has historically shown reluctance to confront allegations of sexual misconduct at the highest levels of society.
Our own political leaders should also accept and respect that sexism and sexual harassment requires top-down solutions from civic leaders. Unfortunately, no matter how noble the endeavours of the brave women who share their stories, real change comes from the top.
Most women have experienced some level of sexism if not harassment in their life. Whether you have or have not, there is a civic obligation on us all to do what we can to protect those who are not capable of protecting themselves.
Women do not have a monopoly on all of the answers or solutions. Real change, real solutions, lasting measures are not possible without inclusivity – isolating men and internalising the debate is not the answer. #MenToo.