Michael Kelly
Church means more than births and deaths
WEXFORD-BASED priest Fr Paddy Banville has given voice to something many clerics grumble about in private but rarely articulate publicly.
Writing in his parish bulletin at the weekend, he wondered aloud why so many parents who want their children to participate in sacraments like First Holy Communion and Confirmation are not themselves churchgoers.
According to Fr Banville, he has “made it abundantly clear that for Confirmation families, participation in Sunday Eucharist is not optional, it’s absolutely essential”. Despite this, the majority of families of children due to be confirmed in March do not go to Mass.
It is an issue that needs to be talked about, but people rarely want to face the consequences of a serious reflection on Ireland’s changed – and changing – relationship with the Church.
When I’m asked to speak at priests’ gatherings around the country, feelings range from bewilderment to annoyance at the seeming disconnect between the sacraments and weekly Mass attendance. It is invariably one of the first things that comes up.
Priests roughly fall into two camps on the issue.
On the one hand, some clergy think the Church should be delighted parents still choose to have their children Confirmed or make their First Holy Communion at all. Family schedules, they argue, are so hectic it’s difficult for families to attend Mass.
Their logic is the Church should meet these people where they’re at and not ask too much of them. Better to have them once in a while than never, you might say.
Many of their colleagues, however, are annoyed at having to preside at what they effectively see as a sham.
The bishop comes to the parish for Confirmation, and there’s a grand ceremony where everyone talks in lofty terms about young people taking another step on their Christian journey. But everyone knows the last time many of the young people were in church was when they made their First Holy Communion.
The elephant in the room is that many – perhaps most – will not see the inside of the building again until they’re getting married.
“We hatch, match and despatch,” one priest told me, referring to the tendency for many Catholics only to darken the door of the Church at significant moments such as births, marriages and deaths.
What’s the Church to do? How does it express to people that the sacraments should be seen as part of an ongoing relationship with the parish community rather than something one checks in to a few times in their lives?
Ireland is curious in that it is increasingly less religious, but demand for the sacraments has not fallen in any significant way.
Evidently, people who give no thought to things divine see it as the most natural thing in the world to bring their child for Baptism and promise to bring them up as faithful Catholics while having no intention of so doing.
A priest told me recently about the not-infrequent question he’s asked in his suburban Dublin parish about whether it’s OK if the Godparents of the baby to be Christened are atheists! The clue might be in the word God.
IN truth, many Irish people have effectively walked away from the Church. But whether out of habit if not a sheer lack of imagination, they now find themselves incapable of celebrating the important moments in the lives of their children without the Church.
A handful of parents hold secular naming ceremonies when a child is born, but the overwhelming majority still approach the Church for Baptism.
We all need a huge dose of reality: the Church needs to remind people that for practising Catholics the sacraments are important; if faith is not a dimension of your life that you prioritise that’s fine, but don’t disrespect the deep faith of others by participating in their sacred rituals for lack of something else to mark life’s moments.
Parents also need to be honest. If they never attend Mass, there’s clearly a reason. If it’s not something that is important to them, why then do they want to pass on a faith to their children that they don’t practise themselves?
It’s not unrealistic or burdensome for priests to expect people who want their children to receive the sacraments to participate in the life of the parish.
After all, when the church needs a new roof or the winter heating bills have to be paid, it is on the faithful who are there week in, week out that the burden falls. Those who attend a few times over a lifetime rarely even know the parish priest’s name, never mind the material needs of the parochial property.
A realistic approach would see far fewer children participate in the sacraments, but also mean families participating would be doing so out of a deeply held conviction.
That would allow communities of intentional Catholics to emerge rather than the current model of cultural Catholicism. This could, in turn, clear the space for Catholics to emerge as a creative minority in modern Ireland rather than the current near-monopoly on the national identity.
As it is, many Irish people find themselves falling between two stools: not religious enough to attend Sunday Mass, but not secularised enough to give up bringing their children for the sacraments.
A priest told me one question he’s asked is whether it’s OK for Godparents to be atheists. A clue might be in the word God.