What it feels like to... give your sister a kidney
The latest Coronation Street plot sees factory boss Aida n Connor give up a kidney for his sister Carl a. Ahead of World Kidney Day on Thursday, Dublin man Glen Gahan (28) reveals what it’s like to donate an organ to save a loved one
There’s only two years between us so my younger sister Laura and I have always been close. She was born with a genetic condition called nail-patella syndrome and one of the symptoms of it is that she can’t fully lift her arms above her head. From no age, I was ‘the reacher’, the one she’d come to to help her get the biscuits off the top shelf in the press. I was also the one who shared the blame when we got caught...
In 2015, Laura’s illness affected her kidneys and she had to start home dialysis. She was pretty bad. She’d be in her room and I’d bring her up a bit of tea and toast, but after one bite of the toast she’d get sick all day. I was worried about her. It was hard to see her so ill and my parents were stressed out of their heads going in and out of hospital.
When we knew Laura needed a kidney donor, my mother went forward and wanted to be the one, but she wasn’t a match and neither were my aunts. My older brother was going to go forward, but I said I would go first because he has a baby girl and I’m young, free and single.
When I did the test, I came back a perfect match, but the doctors still weren’t sure if I could donate because I might have the same genetic illness. I had to go and get blood tests and then wait weeks for the results. That was stressful, but eventually they came back clear. It was a relief because it had always been in the back of my mind I might have it and what that might mean if I had kids in the future and passed it on to them.
Before anything happens [the doctors] talk to you about how you’ll be affected. They tell you all about where they’ll make the incision and how it’s like a C-section where they take the kidney out.
There are three small incisions made in your side and then a big incision on your abdomen. You’re assigned a counsellor and a social worker to help you out with financial stuff. I’m at college and I also work as a carer. I had to take three months off, which was paid.
There was doubt and I was a bit worried. They tell you there’s a chance you could die — I think it was something like a one per cent risk — but there’s always risk going in for any major operation.
Seeing how sick my sister was and knowing that I had the chance to do something about it… I don’t think I’d have been able to live with myself if I hadn’t done it. Nobody ever tried to talk me out of it. I’d one mate telling me I’d be in bits, that I’d never play football again and never be the same, but I just ignored it.
Laura probably did feel a bit guilty, but instead we just had a laugh about it. It was probably easier not to think about it too much. She’d say ‘give me your kidney’ and I’d think, ‘yeah, we’re doing this, let’s get it done’.
We were lined up to do the operation on July 4 but Laura got sick and we had to wait until September. I’d almost say the waiting was the worst part.
I went into hospital the night before the operation and I remember me, my Ma and Da and Laura all just sitting waiting. It does go through your head this might be it, but in the morning I mostly remember feeling relieved that it was finally happening and hopefully we could all move on.
You go through a few questionnaires first to see if you’re allergic to anything. Then they set you up with a drip and then you’re knocked out pretty fast after that.
They keep asking you all the time, ‘Are you sure you want to do this?’ and my answer was always ‘yes’. After four or five hours in the operating theatre, I woke up in the recovery room, feeling sore and experiencing the weird feeling of having a pee with a catheter in. It also turned out I was allergic to intravenous morphine so I had a red rash all over me, but otherwise, I was grand. It was great seeing Laura. When she came back up from her operation well, laughing and smiling (and delighted with herself for peeing for the first time in months!) we were all absolutely delighted.
I could see the stress lifting from my parents and that was kind of emotional. My Mam’s always thanking me, but there’s no need. They’ve always supported me as well and I’m thankful for that. I’d have given my kidney to anyone in the family.
I was in hospital five days and then home. I was wrecked. I’d walk round the house and have to have a lie down. Even after a week, if I walked to the shops I’d come back spent. But now there’s not really anything I can’t do and I’m not on any medications or anything.
My diet hasn’t changed much, although I probably do look after myself better and feel a bit more grateful for what I’ve got. I’d been taking a bit of whey protein before the operation and the doctors told me to lay off that, but I’ve no problem with that. Sometimes I feel a bit more tired, but we’re still in an early stage and the body’s probably still adapting.
I’d actually stopped drinking about a year before so we sometimes laugh that putting my kidney in Laura was a bit like putting a Ferrari engine in a Nissan Micra!
It was an anxious wait to see if the operation would be a success, but right from the start the doctors said they could see the kidney was working well. To be honest, I don’t know how I would have felt if it hadn’t worked. That would have been the worst, feeling like it had all been for nothing.
Life has changed for everyone in the family now. Sometimes you forget it but your health really is your wealth. There’s a massive difference in Laura — she’s flying around now.
I tell her, ‘Look after that kidney!’ but it’s just joking. It’s hers now. I do wind her up about it though. I’ll say, ‘I’m still waiting on that cup of tea, I gave you a kidney you know’. You can play the kidney card for anything. And I’ll be milking it for many more years to come!
See worldkidneyday.org.