WTF? Apple Pay comes to the Church
Let us pray...
My knees are a bit creaky, but you go ahead.
Free your mind, ponder the vastness of the cosmos... and hand over your iPhone.
I’m more of a Samsung Galaxy type myself.
Foul defiler! Prepare to be burned at the — actually, no, as long as it has Google Pay, it’s fine.
Okay... wait, why do you need my phone?
Sheesh, it’s the 21st century. There’s no reason for our technology to be older than the Book of Deuteronomy.
What you’re saying is... you’re taking contactless payment to church.
Exactly. No need to fumble for a greasy fiver when you can zing the money over virtually.
Sounds wonderful, but this can’t possibly be happening in the real world.
How wrong you are. The Church of England has unveiled contactless payment at 16,000 churches.
No more passing the plate around — praise be.
Not quite. Contributing to the weekly collection is currently being “trialled”. The old method has been found to still be more efficient than the new-fangled alternative.
What other reason would you have for spending money in a church?
It’s thought it will prove useful for weddings, christenings and fêtes. It’s largely a marketing gimmick, as the CoE is eager to appeal to younger people.
What are the odds of Irish churches following its lead?
Thus far, nothing has been announced.
Let me guess: that would be an ecumenical matter.