Social media and access to porn have changed a generation – and have blurred the lines on consent

RIGHT now. Up for meet. No strings attached – these are some of the common statuses young men can see on social media dating apps.

Ireland has undergone a sexual liberation over the past two decades and social media has only accelerated it.

While this hasn’t been a negative for society, it has led us to becoming one of the most liberal societies in the western world.

The 2015 passing of the marriage-equality referendum confirmed that Ireland had truly become a non-judgmental country, one that had thrown off the shackles of an oppressive Catholic orthodoxy. It has led to greater social acceptance and advances for all of us.

However, social media and the internet have expanded their place in our everyday lives, so we need to analyse their place in our new, more liberal world.

While many of us know the major social media apps, such as Facebook and Twitter, social media dating apps have also become commonplace.

Many of these apps and websites are unregulated, with a ‘tick box’ ageverification system that requires no actual proof of age.

Tinder is the market leader, while Grindr is the main dating app of gay (and some closeted) men.

While they don’t actively encourage casual sexual encounters, a quick perusal of any dating app will show you how social media has led to a growth in casual sex online.

Take a swipe through Tinder; many profiles are looking for “no strings attached fun” or people who are “up for a meet”. “Right now” is an option on Grindr.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with this. If two consenting adults want to meet for a sexual encounter and never see each other again, that is up to them.

The concerning effect is that on our younger people, particularly our younger men. I’m still in my 20s – but I remember when internet dating was almost considered taboo. Now, through social media, it is commonplace.

Are these apps leading our young men to think that sex is a freely available commodity?

Take, for instance, the easy access our teenagers now have to porn. Gone are the days of boys hiding their ‘dirty mags’ under the mattress.

Instead, teenagers have instant access to all types of porn, completely unobserved on their smartphones. It has become normalised for them.

Porn in itself isn’t the problem. But research shows that a large proportion of straight porn has some form of violence towards women in it. The women in the videos are consenting. But what should concern us is that our young men – particularly teenagers, who may not have much actual sexual experience – are building expectations from it.

They think these encounters are normal.

On WhatsApp groups, one-upmanship can take over. How do I make myself look the best? How do I outdo my friend? How do I keep up with the crowd?

Twitter and Tumblr have a very ambiguous policy towards porn and are commonly used by teenagers.

Social media is part of the problem – but it isn’t the cause of it.

Consent. Consent. Consent. While we need to educate young men on what consent is, I think it’s more important to educate them on what it isn’t.

Porn is fantasy.

When an action hero jumps from a plane and lands perfectly on the roof of a building in a movie, we all know it’s fantasy.

That needs to be communicated about porn and social media dating apps that they use.

Even the most tech-savvy parents are probably hopelessly behind their teenagers.

Teenagers will watch porn. It is up to their parents to educate them on consent.