Reliving the privilege of going to war with golf’ s‘ bitch goddess’
VINCENT HOGAN returns to Augusta National this week for the first time in 25 years. When last there, he came out of the hat to play the Masters course less than 24 hours after Bernhard Langer’s 1993 victory. He recounted the experience to readers and here
HOLE 10 PAR-FOUR CALLED ‘CAMELIA’
Fred Couples, the 1992 Masters champion, suggests par is a good score here. It was the hole that ranked “number one in difficulty” during the 1992 tournament. After my Monty Python drive, two flailed four irons got me as far as a greenside bunker. Then a miracle occurred. Pitching out to eight feet, I took Mike’s advice on the line and got home for an air-punching bogey five. As Mike raked the bunker, I muttered something about Ben Hogan being my uncle. After all, Craig Wood had an eight here during the 1954 Masters tournament.
HOLE 11
PAR-FOUR ‘WHITE DOGWOOD’
It is the beginning of Amen Corner and Larry Mize, who chipped in here to win the 1987 play-off with Greg Norman, says the fairway is so wide you can unleash your driver at fullpelt. My four-iron second avoided the pond that swallowed Ray Floyd’s hopes in 1990 but finished well right of the green. Pitching on to 12 feet, my putt came to rest maybe half an inch short of par. Bogey five. As I floated towards the 12th tee, Mike was asking if my uncle was really such a recluse. Don Finsterwald had taken nine here in the 1952 Masters.
HOLE 12
PAR-THREE ‘GOLDEN BELL’
With Rae’s Creek yawning in front of the green like a hungry alligator and pin position almost always close to water, Ian Woosnam – the 1991 champion – wrote in the tournament programme: “Only a fool goes for the pin.” Perhaps he meant Nick Faldo or Dan Forsman. It was here that Faldo took a seven in last week’s second round as Forsman did two days later. I felt an abundance of empathy as my six-iron tee-shot drifted high, wide and whispered farewell with a splash. The charge was over. A nervous pitching wedge from the droppingzone came to rest at the back-edge of a green tilting treacherously towards the creek and I three-putted for triple-bogey six. Hell, everyone knows Tom Weiskopf took 13 here in 1980.
HOLE 13
PAR-FIVE ‘AZALEA’
It is a monster dog-leg with the creek winding its way down the left side of the fairway before crossing over in front of the green. Ray Floyd, champion in 1976, describes it as “the most exciting par-five in the world”.
Two huge cracks of a three-iron brought me just short of the water. I shanked my third without punishment, duffed my fourth, got on in five and took two putts from maybe 30 feet. An heroic doublebogey seven. Mike asked if I was on speaking terms with my uncle but I feigned distraction. Tommy Nakajima took 13 here in 1978.
HOLE 14
PAR-FOUR ‘CHINESE FIR’
Genteel by comparison with its immediate predecessors, it leads you down a corridor of trees to a devilish green. Tommy Aaron, 1973 champion, says “the 14th green is a great spot to watch golfers getting a little crazy”. Not having mastered the physics of straight driving, I twice clattered irons against the trees on the left before reaching the fringe in four. Mike suggested a putting line that had me scanning the area for wild mushrooms. “Trust me man,” he groaned. “Go with your own line and we’ll be here until the darn weekend.” Swallowing my pride, I nursed a wild swinger left to right, leaving a simple tap-in and doublebogey six. Two better than Nick Price managed in this year’s second round!
HOLE 15 PAR-FIVE ‘FIRE THORN’
With ponds in front of and behind the elevated green, it is, in the words of twice former champion Tom Watson, a hole “fraught, with peril”. A wimpish three-iron, searing four, flunked nine and jittery pitching wedge finally got me onto the putting apron where a tiny frog insisted on accompanying me through my three putts. Doublebogey seven. I remind silent caddy Walker Inman had a 10 here in 1956.
HOLE 16
PAR-THREE ‘REDBUD’
Six-times champion Jack Nicklaus suggests it presents a different challenge virtually every time you play it. I sincerely hope so because my first time was a travesty. I swayed my six-iron tee-shot away from the water but deep into trees on the right. From there I got “a flier” into sand. Stuck tight beneath the bunker ledge, I had to splash out back towards the tee-box. Three putts, triple-bogey six. Herman Barron took 11 here in 1950.
HOLE 17 PAR-FOUR ‘NANDINA’
Twice Masters champion Nick Faldo believes the key here is in not leaving yourself a lengthy putt over the ridge that runs right across the middle of the green. My problems proved more immediate. Poor drive, poor second and poor third through the back, duffed pitch and then the customary three putts. Triple-bogey seven. Hand me my driver, Mike. Sorry, Mike. Hello. Angel Miguel equalled my score in 1963.
H OLE 18
PAR-FOUR ‘HOLLY’
From an elevated tee, the view down through a chute of pines on Masters’ final day is – according to 1988 champion Sandy Lyle – “a terrifying sight”. Unperturbed, I finally connected with a decent three-iron from the tee, then hooked my fouriron second way out on to the ninth fairway.
But a never-to-be-forgotten pitching wedge left me 25 feet from the pin and I swerved home a ludicrous putt for par! “Aaalright,” wailed Mike, offering a high-five I disdainfully resisted. Hell even Bernhard Langer shot bogey here last Sunday and Densmore Shute took eight in 1959. Seventeen-over par for the Augusta back nine. All shame was now suspended.
HOLE 1
PAR-FOUR ‘TEA OLIVE’
Uphill with a multi-tiered green that four-time champion Arnold Palmer warns is dangerously easy to take three putts on. On the edge in three, I duffed my pitch but rolled home a straight 15-footer for bogey five. Fortyone years ago, Frank Stranahan took seven here.
HOLE 2
PAR-FIVE ‘PINK DOGWOOD’
Seve Ballesteros, twice former champion, labels this as the one hole where position off the tee is largely incidental.
I proved him wrong. But, then, I doubt if Seve ever followed the lurid path of my hooked three-iron which fell deep into a wooded ravine. Hacking out at a right-angle to the fairway, I made a bunker on the fringe in four and splashed out to get home in two putts. Double-bogey seven was three better than Sam Byrd in the Masters of 1948.
HOLE 3
PAR-FOUR ‘FLOWERING PEACH’
Reigning Masters champion Bernhard Langer warns “the green here is always treacherous”. Wrong again. On in three, I left a 28-footer on the lip and tapped in for bogey five. Somehow these pros don’t seem to know Augusta. Douglas Clarke took eight here in 1980.
HOLE 4 PAR-THREE ‘FLOWERING CRABAPPLE’
In the tournament programme, Ben Crenshaw, the 1984 champion, singled out a huge greenside bunker to the right as the obstacle to avoid. Too bad I did not know that on the tee box. “Dang,” hollered Mike as the sand exploded. “Hot dang,” he then wailed as my second bunker shot took flight
into the brambles on Berckmans Road. Disaster of disasters, quadruple bogey seven. Still. Dave Eichelberger was just as wayward in 1965.
HOLE 5
PAR-FOUR ‘MAGNOLIA’
A “brutally difficult dog-leg left,” according to 1979 champion Fuzzy Zoeller, your correspondent scrambled onto the rock-like green in three only to roll a 15-footer 20 feet past the hole. Three more putts followed for a triple-bogey seven, one better than Jerry Barber managed in 1965. Mike, by now, was sulking.
HOLE 6
PAR-THREE ‘JUNIPER’
Three-times champion Gary Player describes this test as “a sleeper, a diabolically difficult par-three that has played a pivotal role in many Masters”. Dream on, Gary. Short and to the right with my tee shot, I pitched to six feet and sank for an easy par! Little wonder no score higher than a six has ever been recorded here.
HOLE 7 PAR-FOUR ‘PAMPAS’
The 1968 champion Bob Goalby swears everyone respects this hole and argues that “a downhill putt on the seventh green is perilous”. Get real, Bob. Under trees off the tee, I struck a Seve-like four-iron to the left fringe, pitched over a bunker to 15 feet and sank for my second consecutive par! What’re you doin’ down there Mike? Ah Mike. Someone call a medic. In fairness, some joker called De Witt Weaver took eight here in the 1972 Masters.
HOLE 8
PAR-FIVE ‘YELLOW JASMINE’
Billy Casper survived a double-bogey seven here when he won the 1970 Green Jacket and insists it’s a real brute to reach in two. I can vouch for that assessment after taking three to cross the summit, duffed my pitch and then three-putted across what seemed like moving ant-hills. Double-bogey seven, but still five better than Frank Walsh managed at the Masters in 1935.
HOLE 9 PAR-FOUR ‘CAROLINA CHERRY’
Craig Stadler, the 1982 champion, warns that “all the trouble near the green is on the left in the form of two menacing bunkers”.
At last a pro with decent vision. Old Walrus and me are on the same wavelength with this tiger. My four-iron approach, maybe the best I hit all day, blew up a cloud of Georgia’s finest.
I got “a flier” out, shirked the pitch back and then took four putts on the ice-rink. Quadruple bogey eight, just as Jack Selby had in the Masters of ’48.
Mike asked for his money before I could add up the figures (34-over par, 106). I tipped him 10 bucks. Later a Canadian guy said he had “seen my caddy rip off his white overalls and start eating them between loud, bewildered screams”.
Did we encounter “a few difficulties,” he wondered? “Not at all,” I shrugged. “It must be the heat,” I said. And I told him about my three pars.