It’s the World Cup and we didn’t qualify... so I’ll be shouting for that crowd next door

THE World Cup kicks off next Thursday, and Ireland aren’t in it – so what do you do to kindle a little more interest? There are lots of ways, actually: organise a work pool by pairing colleagues and countries at random, do Fantasy Football in the papers, or maybe go the whole hog by channelling your inner child and collecting the full set of Panini stickers (there’s also the nuclear option of gambling on matches, but we don’t recommend that one).

I’m not doing any of those myself, but I do have a soft spot in my heart for one of the sides at Russia 2018. They’re plucky underdogs, maybe a little limited technically but full of heart and fight, with an intelligent manager and some really good lads on the team.

While they’re unlikely to win the competition outright, they might cause a few shocks along the way. And if they do, I’ll be cheering heartily.

I know, that could be Ireland we’re talking about. But as mentioned already, we failed to make the cut for the latest Fifa lollapalooza, so my allegiance has been transferred. Roughly 200km eastwards as the crow flies or the ferry sails.

That’s right: this World Cup, I’ll be rooting for England.

I’m not being a contrarian here, cheering on Old Albion just for the sake of it. It’s more a case of, well, why wouldn’t I?

We already support their clubs with a maniacal devotion, especially Liverpool and Manchester United – the former even flew a Dunboyne GAA jersey in their dressing room this season after Meath man Sean Cox was seriously injured outside Anfield.

The English always shout for Ireland when the shoe is on the other foot. The manager, Gareth Southgate, seems an all right sort: smart, calm, reasonable. Come to think of it, almost all English-born England managers in my lifetime have been all right sorts. Capello was a bit of a pain, though.

And their squad has lots of players who seem all right sorts too: Stones, Henderson, Kane, Welbeck, Cahill (though they’ve got to learn how to pronounce the name properly), Jones, Rashford, Alexander-Arnold. And actually, come to think of it again, almost all England players of my lifetime have been all right sorts.

But it suits people’s bias and preconceptions to zoom in on the rowdy, boozy likes of Gazza and ignore the dozens of well-mannered Linekers, Beckhams and John Barneses.

My reasons are more than sporting. The English are our nearest neighbours and best friends, the people most like us in the world. We love their bands, authors, TV shows, theatre, movies and comedy. Suede and Anthony Burgess and ‘Blackadder’ and Wolf Alice alone are enough to make my love for England eternal.

Meanwhile, their sense of humour and ours are almost identical – and sense of humour is perhaps the single greatest definition of national character.

So all that said, why would I not shout for England? I’m not a bigot, and I don’t hate the English. Au contraire: I like them very much.

I don’t especially like much of what they did over here for several centuries but – with the admittedly enormous exception of the Famine – the crimes of England have always been overstated, here and

elsewhere. And compared to many, many other large powers, their empire was positively saintly.

Also, this is the really important bit, all of that happened a very long time ago. As in, over a century. Nobody is alive nowadays who has even the faintest memory of those days. At what point do we put the past where it belongs?

In 100 long years since, England and Ireland have been neighbourly, friendly, even fond of each other at times. This goes both ways – we trade with them, we swap tourists, we live and work in their land and they in ours.

We share a language and a sensibility which, if not exactly the same, are very close to it. Go travelling in a far-off land and see how quickly the English and Irish gravitate towards each other.

When the EU forced us to our knees in 2010, who immediately offered a substantial loan to ease the burden? It was England (and a mean old Tory minister, at that).

I hate all that “ha ha ha the English lost” jingoistic nonsense we carry on with here. It’s ignorant, rude, unsporting, small-minded and, worst sin of all, very stupid.

You don’t have to actively get behind Southgate and his men but a bit of grace and courteousness towards our neighbours and friends is no harm.

The English are our nearest neighbours and best friends, the people most like us