Any woman will tell you: toxic male culture is everywhere and most of us have suffered its ugliness
WE are currently being invaded by constant reminders of toxic masculinity, from public tales of cheating to sexual harassment on the street. Yet, despite this ever-mounting sign of our times, we are failing to tackle the issue with education.
We saw the public debasement of marriage and family once again when one man, claiming to be from north Dublin, wrote on dating site Tinder: “Married, home alone tonight looking for someone to call in, share a bottle of wine, beer and more...”
This man posted a photo of his naked torso and seemed to have disregarded the fact there was a baby’s Moses basket in the background.
This man had been honest, at least, that he was married but such was the lack of respect for his wife and child that of course there was an angry backlash from women online, as the image and post was shared across social networks.
This report came as another from Paris highlighted a real-life example of a woman being objectified and mistreated by a man and, this time, violently as well as mentally.
A CCTV image showed Marie Laguerre (22) being hit in the face by a man seconds after he made “sexual noises” at her in the street. She told him to stop sexually harassing her and he lashed out, striking Marie so hard her head hit the glass barrier of a café, where shocked onlookers witnessed the assault.
Marie told French news channel BFMTV: “When I’m on the street, I’m not comfortable and I’m not the only one. All women are familiar with this. All women have gone through harassment. This is something that we say and keep on saying but we need to keep on saying this.”
Marie is correct in this statement and I’m convinced most women
Harassment, assault and sexism eat away at our chance to ever find true equality... we could shout, scream, write about this issue until the ink has run dry and our voices have died and it would still be the same
would agree. The majority have experienced harassment, assault, sexism, throughout our lives and it permeates our society, eating away at our chance to ever find true equality.
At 16, I was a waitress and realised I’d become the subject of unwelcome attention by one of my male bosses at a café in Manchester.
He was in his 40s, a married father of two children and felt it appropriate to slap my behind as I walked through the kitchen.
I was no longer willing to work for such an odious man and quit my job, telling him exactly what I thought of him. I left a note in the ladies’ room for his wife, just as she was entering the café that day. But I shouldn’t have had to leave my job.
AndIwishIcouldsaythatwas the worst experience I’ve encountered but, of course, I’d be spinning an untruth.
No, I’ve experienced this behaviour repeatedly. Sometimes it’s been more subtle and sometimes far more apparent and terrifying.
In my early 20s, on a night out and dancing with friends, I felt a man put his hand up my skirt, into my underwear. I screamed and shouted at him and ran to security, who promptly threw him out, but not before he’d thrown pint glasses toward me, trying his best to do the most possible damage to my body. After all, this was only a female body. And I was only an object to this man.
I felt thankful that security had listened to me, but never could I have imagined this man would hold such disrespect for women that he’d seek to do me further damage, just for standing up for myself.
He waited outside and as I left the bar with my friends, an arm came from nowhere and I felt the skin on my scalp pull upward and pain rush through my head.
The man who’d already sexually assaulted me was about to throw my head into a brick wall and time slowed as the enormity of what was happening washed over me.
I’m thankful for the good men in this world and that night one stepped from the shadows to rescue me.
The stranger pulled the maniac away from me and restrained him until my friends and I made our escape. I never got to thank my saviour. I wish I could have.
THE sad truth is though, no matter how many times we as women escape, no matter how many times we make a change by standing up against sexism, harassment, violence against women or cheating, nothing truly changes.
We could shout, scream, write about this issue until the ink has run dry and our voices have died and it would still be the same.
Sexism, toxic male culture, exists today and it will exist tomorrow and next year, until our governments force change.
Until little boys are taught to treat girls with respect, to see them as equal, until companies are forced to educate their male staff on just how to respect women and offer them equality, and until all men – all of society – see treating women as second class as despicable, then we cannot progress.