High concept, traditional or unisex — what does your baby name say about you?
Girls creator Lena Dunham gave Twitter an unprecedented glimpse into the inner workings of her mind this week when she posted a list of potential baby names she dreamt up with former flame, the musician Jack Antonoff.
“I could definitely keep this private,” she wrote in the tweet addressed to her ex-boyfriend, “but then the world wouldn’t know that you suggested ‘Carrot’ over and over.”
While Carrot is arguably the most creative baby name on the list, there are also some classics — Kelly, Clare and Joy — some hyphenates — Ricki Lee and Sarah Lee — and some names that could only have been conjured up by two Brooklyn denizens — Oz, Na, Zavie, Rah and Shogo.
This colourful list of names tells us an awful lot about this former couple’s predilections, but what about our own choices? Granted, you may never christen your child as Carrot but, like it or not, your choice of baby name reveals more about your personality than you may care to admit.
Here’s how:
Royal - Charles, Philip, Elizabeth, Charlotte
As an unashamed Anglophile, you love Earl Grey tea, Ascot etiquette and impenetrable social class divisions. You aren’t blue-blooded in the strictest sense of the word but you own the same Barbour jacket as Princess Anne — and that has to stand for something. You cried when Meghan walked up the aisle (but deep down you think it should have been you) and you secretly judge people who pronounce the long ‘o’ in ‘scone’.
Floral - Poppy, Ivy, Violet, Daisy
You came up with the name Buttercup while lying in savasana at your prenatal yoga class. A quick online check confirmed that Jools Oliver didn’t have a patent pending.
At the time, your choice of name perfectly encapsulated your Earth Mother aspirations — there would be no formula feed or disposable nappies for your little one. No, no, no — your child was going to be raised on wooden toys, organic rice cakes and homespun charm.
Things changed after you took the epidural, struggled to get the latch and realised that the iPad could get you an extra hour’s sleep. Why oh why didn’t you just call her Emily?
Classic - Adam, David, Sarah, Jane
Yes, you know Jackson is having a moment and Harper is all the rage, but you’ve never really been one for blink-and-you’ll-miss-it trends. ‘Classic never dates’ is your motto, which is why you prefer heritage brands to high street and simple baby names to high-concept ones. And besides, in a playground full of Theos, Jacksons and Masons, maybe the most extraordinary names are in fact the most ordinary ones.
Bonkers - Hercules, Wishbone, Cloud, Chickpea
As a committed nonconformist, you didn’t even bother looking through The Complete
Book of Baby Names that your concerned mother bought for you. After all, she’s the one who bestowed you with the ubiquitous name of Aoife. And despite your best attempts to give it a unique twist during your early teens, ‘Eefah’ never really caught on.
Truth be told, you don’t want your own daughter to suffer the plight of the ordinary name, which is why you’ve spent the better part of your pregnancy looking up the Sanskrit dictionary and the encyclopedia of Greek mythology.
Traditional - John, Patrick, Ellen, Bridget
Your father’s name was James and your father’s father’s name was James. Any questions? Your staunch traditionalist sensibilities extend to other areas of your life too. You’re the slightly annoying person who upholds Christmas traditions, organises family reunions and initiates genealogical research.
Anglo-Saxon - Aldwyn, Arwen, Eldrid, Merlin
You were brought up on Lord of the Rings, you once called in sick because you stayed up until 5am watching Game of Thrones and you have a better than average knowledge of World of Warcraft.
You wanted to call your daughter Daenerys but your wife argued that it sounded like a bacterial infection.
Irish- Oisin, Ruairí, Saoirse, Sadhbh
As a Gaeilgoir, a GAA fanatic and the proud owner of a bodhrán, you always knew you were going to give your child a name with a fada. What irks you, though, is the amount of Irish parents who choose Kardashianised baby names when they have such a rich language at their disposal. This frustration gives way to fury when Féilim asks if he can have a play-date with some local buachaill called ‘Kai’.
Unisex - Quinn, Riley, Jessie, Bailey
Bugaboo Cameleon? Check. Tiba + Marl changing bag? Check. Adidas Infant Superstar? Check. On-trend gender-neutral baby name that gives your child the best possible chance of being considered cool among their peers? Check, check, check.
Hyphenates - Olivia-Rose, Ruby-Grace, Henry-James, John-Luke
You tell people you like the sonorous qualities of your baby’s name but the truth is you had a list of names as long as your arm, and whittling it down to just one was impossible.