Shane Watson:
What every woman over 40 should know about fashion
Everyone goes on about arms but it’s your knees that will let you down
Cameron Diaz once said that the one thing she will never wear again, (“No Way”) is… a tube top. This is good to know. But as fashion tips for the post forty-something woman go, it’s disappointing. Most of us over-40s last wore a tube top (or as they’re better known on these shores, ‘boob tube’) on a holiday in Greece two decades ago.
When glamorous women make age appropriate dressing statements (part of the deal once they hit 40), you hope for something more relevant to our daily lives: ideally a list of cracking tips that will cut through all the confusion.
Forty is nothing now, by the way. It’s the new 50. You barely have to make any adjustments, but it’s a bit ostrich-like to pretend everything stays the same forever, and this is as good a point as any to take stock of your options going forward.
It’s time to grade up... Your shoes
Do not go quietly into the navy mid-heel pump, or the plain loafer, or the really useful (so comfy) trainer. You can always do a fun shoe and display a well-turned ankle. More to the point, a shoe is where you score your fashion points when you are past Sex Pistols T-shirts and floral coronets (which you are).
Your hair
The just-got-out-of-bed, beach bleached hair days are on the way out. Conditioner is everything now.
And whatever you do, don’t over trim. A bob at this stage could put a decade on you, instantly.
Make-up, but not foundation
Watch out for the plaster textured complexion which occurs when women panic that they need coverage but haven’t got their glasses/ replaced the light in the bedroom.
Your smile
I know that sounds creepy. But the sulky, not bothered expression which you may think cool (see Victoria Beckham,
below) will, in your 40s, start to look sour and a bit ‘my back is killing me’. Perk it up.
It’s time to watch out for... Your knees
Everyone goes on about arms, but it’s your knees that will let you down (see Kate Moss).
Black
So boring to be told to ditch black because it’s draining on older skin. Happily, it’s not quite true. Matte dull black is draining. But lush black is fine (for a few more years, especially if it’s glossy satin or velvet), so long as you ramp it up. Think splashy earrings and red lipstick.
Popcorn-coloured highlights
Only because you will start to look like every other greying forty-something in the Western world. Why do you think J Law and Taylor Swift went punky bone-white blonde? Because safe blonde is the colour of middleage, that’s why.
Some youthful things you needn’t put away... Wearing bikini tops under clothes in summer
Sounds mad. But it does inject a certain carefree, barefoot vibe. (Don’t try this at work obviously,
works best when you are gardening). Espadrilles and flip flops
Similar result. But, as of now, must be worn with a pedicure. The unwashed look is no longer a runner. (This applies equally to men. David Beckham post-match easily tips over into Rhys Ifans the morning after a very late night).
Denim
You are never too old for the latest jeans if you look good in jeans. Same goes for leather trousers (but you need the legs).
Shortish puffy sleeves
Quite flattering on the older arm, contrary to rumour, especially if not too puffy and not too short. Leave it to the kids, obviously
Victim jeans
As in uber-ripped and shredded or covered in sew-on patches and embroidery.
Maxi
The whole maxi thing is a bit of a lottery. It CAN work, but too folksy, too floaty, too flouncy, too 70s ambassadress, all can add roughly 10 years. Never ever go for long sleeves and a long hemline. Or denim.