Jack Frost nipping at your nose .... hang on, is that gender stereotyping?
IN LIGHT of the recent spate of political correctness being applied to several Christmas songs whose only crime was that they were not written yesterday, I attach notes on perhaps my favourite, ‘The Christmas Song’.
“Chestnuts roasting on an open fire” – have the chestnuts been sourced from a fair-trade third-world farmer? Is the open fire being fuelled by sustainably forested timber? “Jack Frost nipping at your nose” – there is a risk of gender stereotyping here. Could a Jacqueline do this job equally well?
“Yuletide carols being sung by a choir” – the word ‘Yuletide’ is offensive to both non-Christians and atheists alike – it should be replaced with the less controversial term ‘holidays’.
“And folks dressed up like Eskimos” – this is appropriation of traditional Inuit textiles and attire and therefore offensive to aboriginal and indigenous peoples the world round. “Everybody knows a turkey” – offensive to vegans. “Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow...” – ageist. “...will find it hard to sleep tonight” – making light of the medical condition insomnia.
“They know that Santa’s on his way” – Saint Nicholas is always cast as a rotund Caucasian male, this is racist and sexist and also discriminatory against the clinically obese.
“He’s loaded lots of toys and goodies...” – is the plastic used to make these toys recycled? The goodies will further add to obesity and diabetes problems. What is the carbon footprint of all this conspicuous consumerism? “...on his sleigh” – animal labour used – ban it. “And every mother’s...” – what about male/male partner relationships who are guardians of small children – homophobic. “...child is gonna spy to see if...” – anti-visually impaired. “...reindeer really know how to fly” – presumably causing more damage to the ozone layer in the process. “And so, I’m offering this simple phrase to kids from one to 92” – age discriminatory: what about infants under one and centenarians? “Altho’ it’s been said many times, many ways, ‘Merry Christmas to you’” – Merry Christmas to all staff and readers, and to all those so easily offended Merry Christmas to you as well. Tony Hetherton
Address with editor