‘Don’t get stuck on plans — commit to the present’
Over the past three months, I have learnt the necessity of slowing down, of taking each day as it comes and abandoning my instinct to plan and predict. I’ve made a concerted effort to engage with those aspects of life which are most immediate and everyday — listening to birdsong, pottering aimlessly about the garden, watching television, taking long walks. It’s been perhaps my greatest discovery of lockdown. Prior to this, I often dealt with overwhelming or uncontrollable situations by immersing myself in the future — making schedules, planning ahead, organising events. The Covid-19 crisis has proven to me, however, the futility of constant forward-thinking. There are times in life when it’s impossible to make plans and attempting to do so is useless and exhausting. Understanding that life’s challenges are best dealt with by anchoring myself in the present moment, by pausing to look up and around, has enabled me to trudge through a deeply unsettling few months.
Lockdown forced me to move back to Cork, to relinquish the independence of student life and adapt to the structures and strictures of my family home. The process of adjustment was frustrating and there were moments when tensions ran high and tempers became frayed. However, I feel fortunate to have spent quarantine in the company of a supportive and loving family. Living together during a global pandemic forces people to rely on one another in a way they’ve never had to before. Throughout the past few months, my parents, my sisters and I have had to navigate unfamiliar waters. We revived routines previously abandoned during childhood — eating pizza together on Saturday nights — and incorporated new ones. Caught up in the excitement of life in Dublin, however, I realise now that I had forgotten the importance of carving out quality time at home.
As life post-lockdown gradually resumes, I feel similar to how I did at the beginning of 2020: full of hope. The only difference is that I now feel a little wiser, more resilient, capable of coping with change. I am conscious of no longer becoming caught up in plans and predictions but, instead, of committing to the present. I have a newfound awareness of human touch, of the failure of any technological device to replicate a kiss on the cheek from my grandmother or a tight hug from a friend. Most of all, I realise how privileged I am to have a home that, even in the midst of a global pandemic, is a source of stability and strength. Lockdown jolted me out of my ‘big picture’, long-term mode of thinking and forced me to truly appreciate the everyday availability of unwavering family support. I shan’t take it for granted again.