Homeschooling is tough, so don’t feel guilty about what didn’t go right
THIS week the homeschooling epoch limps to a halt, but with exhausted parents crawling towards the finish line the usual end of term jubilation is sorely missing. I remember noon on Thursday, March 12 when I heard school was out for two weeks. I was on my way to the post office but, like everyone else, did a swift U-turn into the supermarket where I met other parents wildly buying sandwich materials. I felt panic – would I cope?
Just as well we did not know then what we know now – schools would not reopen – we would have crumbled in the aisles. But we made it. Just about.
Usually on the last day our school hosts a talent show and once the bell rings children and parents decamp to a nearby park for unlimited Haribos and sneaky glasses of Prosecco. We will do the park date this Friday, and while no doubt the kids will have a ball, I fear, with parents feeling flat, the only bubbles we will be concerned with are the ones our children’s classes may have to remain in next year.
And there are traces of steel in our conversations about September. We faced homeschooling courageously but our tolerance has run out. We see how our kids will be playing together all summer anyway, how the latest relaxation of rules allow for rugby and weddings. And in fairness to the Department of Education, once we properly digested what Minister Joe McHugh, and the recent DES report on reopening the schools was actually saying, ie they aim to fully reopen – this gave us hope. But with so much uncertainty about the lack of after-school activities next year – our school has already told us there will be none until January – intense unease hovers.
Parents need assurance as soon as possible that if the class bubble idea goes ahead any staggered drop-offs and pickups cannot eat into core school hours – this must be facilitated by schools opening earlier or later. Every minute is going to count for stretched parents.
My sister’s crèche has told her it won’t run their after-school service for primary kids, and to my dismay, she has already snaffled my parents’ free afternoons – and I suspect every other grandparent will be booked up.
My toddler starts back at crèche on Monday, and while I will be glad of the few hours to get my work done, it feels bittersweet – the succour has come too late.
I think of those mornings when he was told to go upstairs/go outside/ watch more ‘Peppa Pig’ while I struggled with the older kids trying to remember what a prime number was or the radius of a circle. He was my little shadow and I feel bad I could not give him proper attention.
One particularly stressful day he thoughtfully asserted I was a ‘mean mammy’, which the other children found hilarious and so the title stuck. It is true the stress of homeschooling did turn me into a mean mammy, which is why I am so happy it’s over. I don’t want to be their teacher any more.
Having said that, I know some parents coped fine – mainly ones with no jobs or toddlers – and will feel the loss of a daily structure now the wide and open space of the summer lies before us.
Many will miss RTÉ ‘Home School’. I never used it, as the kids always got so much ‘Minecraft’ screen time in the afternoon anyway, but I am planning this summer they can watch past episodes on YouTube while their little brother is in crèche. There was an email our school principal sent to parents just after Easter that I have re-read many times these past months.
He assured us any gaps in learning will be managed, we have enough on our plates to be worrying about worksheets not completed and there will be a collective effort to help pupils catch up in September.
Comforting words, even if shame lingers – about the pictures of chocolate chip cookies not texted to teachers because the towering breakfast and dinner dishes that day (and most days) meant even making a cup of tea, never mind baking biscuits, was tricky. About the poems not written, the shouting, the fighting.
About the fifth class project on the Romans not sent in because I got sick of hounding my son and (just about) managed to avoid the temptation to write the dashed thing myself.
I’m not proud, but there is freedom in accepting your limits and acknowledging you did what you could.
And there were good bits. The daily trip to the local deserted cricket pitch was a happy release. When I read aloud ‘Treasure Island’, the ice bucket challenges, when the two additional controllers for the PlayStation arrived (best lockdown purchases ever).
Parents are feeling wiped out and I’m thinking a nationwide ‘clap for all of us emerging from the trauma’ is in order. Especially for the children who have been missing their friends and routine. And for our teachers – it must have been difficult to suddenly migrate online.
Some parents were unhappy with the comparison of the remote learning between private and national schools – but they had the extra resources. The teachers I know did their very best. This pandemic was nobody’s fault – it was an unexpected slap in the face for everyone.
So even though my HS effort was pitiful, I did what I could, and that is why I will be wiping the guilt off my conscience with a damp cloth. And I suggest everyone does the same. We need to now look forward to the new school year with a unified positive attitude and the Government and unions need to send a strong message we are all on the same page, we all want the same thing – that nothing is getting in the way of a full school day come September.
It is true the stress did turn me into a mean mammy, which is why I’m so happy it’s over. I don’t want to be their teacher any more