With a little more give and take, we will tackle Covid together
SO HERE we go again! Most of us had settled into managing the restrictions imposed as a result of Covid19 as best we could. We followed the guidelines so strictly that our hands were raw and our hearts were lonely. We cautiously decided ‘life must go on’ and timidly reclaimed interests and activities that were regular features of life up until March of this year. Now we know that despite the best efforts of many, the virus is in the ascendant and we’re facing new severe restrictions.
So let’s acknowledge this is a strange and difficult time. We may feel drained, weary, scared, frustrated, angry, numb, fed-up, resigned, anxious, depressed or even hopeless. Further restrictions are distressing for many and we may feel apathy, fear or anger.
It is good to acknowledge the sense of relief some people feel. We have been given guidelines and once again we can choose to follow them.
It will probably be some time before we walk into Croke Park or the Aviva Stadium to support our team in an important final.
Times have changed. Let’s acknowledge that now, the match may not be going our way. Let’s acknowledge how we feel, at least to ourselves and preferably to someone we trust.
Of course, it is essential to keep going. None of us want to dive into a pool of negativity and bring others with us. There is a balance. Adapting an approach of counting the many blessings Covid-19 has given us will only work if we also acknowledge we did not want it, do not like it and really wish that it would go. Ignoring our feelings does not work. They show themselves through our behaviours, our health and our relationships
Acknowledging them is an essential first step to managing them as well as we can. Let’s acknowledge the people who steadily continue to take things day by day. But we also need to manage our thoughts as well as our feelings.
Have you, at least once in the past six months, thought, “This is not fair”? “When will life be back to normal?” or “I am missing out”? Thoughts such as these are understandable but may not be helpful. They may also drag us down. We can acknowledge such thoughts and simply label them as unhelpful. The less attention we give them the better.
Sometimes, this is definitely easier said than done. While simply labelling a thought as unhelpful can be very effective, it might not be enough when we feel exhausted, distressed or even hopeless. We can use imagery to see all of our unhelpful thoughts steadily marching to a container marked unhelpful thoughts, jumping in and dissolving in whatever amazing cleanser we have in there.
We can face the thought and acknowledge it, before firmly telling it that we will deal with it later.
It is essential we manage other things too. This includes the practical matters such as wearing masks, hand-washing, and maintaining our social distances.
We must also challenge. People have different opinions and experiences relating to Covid-19. They also have different beliefs which could do with being tested. Before attempting this, it is essential we examine our own beliefs and, if necessary, challenge them.
Most of us accept wearing masks and maintaining social distancing are important and regular hand washing is essential.
People who deliberately do not take these precautions may have different beliefs they live by, refusing to allow us or anyone to challenge them. Being caught in the grip of a belief we have had since we were young can be like being caught in a cult. We do not want to change and everyone else is wrong. Yet, we know that beliefs may not be true.
People who experience anxiety may believe they will be unable to cope with whatever they think the worst may be.
Humans are resilient. We adapt. One of the gifts of Covid-19 is the proof of this. Teachers and students are now familiar with online approaches to teaching and learning. People of all ages use technology to communicate with family, friends and colleagues.
Giving is also key. It is easy enough to give when giving is a distraction from acknowledging, managing and challenging whatever is going on for us.
Let’s give differently. Let’s ask people what they need and give them that. Their answers might surprise us. Maybe our elderly neighbours do not need another frozen meal at their door right now. Maybe they would value a 10-minute, socially-distanced chat. Or maybe they have done enough talking and instead would really appreciate a tub of ice-cream.
Yes, surprise giving is wonderful and has its place, but giving can be planned too. A good question to ask before we give is whose needs are being met? Are we giving something so we feel good or are we giving to really support someone else? Finally you must also know how to take. There is a natural balance in ‘give and take’. There is a fear the challenges we all face as a result of Covid-19 is creating a surge of mental health difficulties.
We can use what is happening right now as a way of helping ourselves and others to acknowledge that things are difficult.
Let us manage thoughts and expectations. Let us challenge views that things are getting more difficult, that nothing is working and even life is not worth living.
Let’s give support and let’s take it. Let’s take time. Let’s take care. Let’s take good advice. Let’s take action to make this time count. Let’s do our part to tackle Covid-19.