Addicted to your job? You might risk burnout
Our new remote working lifestyle means that it’s harder than ever to switch off in your free time, warns clinical pyschologist Dr Claire Hayes
Many years ago, I read a quote by Annie Dillard that stopped me in my tracks: ‘How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives’. At that time, I was working hard. I don’t think I was doing much else, as work had seeped into almost every hour of every day. I remember thinking that I did not want the epitaph ‘Here lies Claire Hayes. She worked hard’ on my headstone. And yet, knowing something is not enough. Henry Ford sensibly said that, ‘If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.’
My first real attempt at changing my work pattern was to work from home one day a week. That initially worked well. As the weeks and months went by, I looked forward to my day working at home. I got my work done and began to see it as a day in which I could get other things done too. The sound of the washing machine became a regular soundtrack as I did administrative work. Lunchtime became the ideal time to mow the lawn. Gradually, so gradually that I did not notice it at the time, my day at home working became even busier than my working days outside the home had been.
And then, things changed. Changed utterly, as WB Yeats once wrote. Like so many people, all of my work has been from home for almost the past year. Initially, I was pleased that I knew how to do it. I felt confident in my own abilities to work, irrespective of the setting. I did not know that I would find it difficult, if not impossible, to stop working. The nature of my work changed too. While ‘working from home’ had meant a quiet uninterrupted space to work while I was doing administration work, working from home during the past year of recurrent lockdown has been very different. I shared my home space with others who were also ‘locked down’ or indeed ‘locked in’ and ‘locked up’. I started to work using Zoom and got used to working with people in a different format. There were new challenges and I am continuing to learn.
Working from home was no longer easy. Work did not have a clear beginning or an end. I found that no matter how hard I worked, there was always more work to do. It somehow had become like a river that had burst its banks and was flowing unchecked into every aspect of my life, flooding all in its path.
Others tell me that they have had similar experiences. Family life has taken a back seat. Children have learned to entertain themselves. Some even send notes to their parents, pushing them under the door, asking if they can get something from the fridge or if they will be finished soon. For some, home has become a prison rather than a sanctuary.
We know that some day we will be free from the current restrictions. Life will open up and we will be able to meet our families and friends more easily. The world of work will probably never be the same. ‘Working from home’ looks set to stay. So, how can we learn from the challenges we are currently experiencing and have a much better balance? How can we learn to do things differently?
Over the past year, I have read numerous articles on how to make ‘working from home’ work. I got some tips such as going for a walk before I started work; taking breaks; scheduling ‘chit-chat’ calls with colleagues; starting and finishing at set times and embracing the
flexibility that ‘working from home’ offers. While some of these can be very effective, I do not think they are enough as we move forward. I think we need to examine the concept of work itself and what it means to us.
When work is at home, it can be difficult, if not almost impossible, to escape from. Work can be defined as ‘having paid employment’, as ‘functioning or able to function’ and as ‘the action of doing work’. Sometimes, the harder we work, the less able we are to function. Work has always been an essential part of living in a household but we might not have seen it as ‘work’. Mowing the lawn is work to a gardener but may be a chore or a form of relaxation to the house holder. Depending on our attitudes, cooking and cleaning may be work, or they may be seen as part and parcel of what we choose to do to make our lives comfortable.
Recently, I have come to understand all sorts of human behaviour as actions we take to make ourselves feel better. This helps me understand why someone would repeatedly check the same door, why some people would take a blade and cut themselves, why someone would continue with addictive behaviour that is clearly harmful, and why someone will keep working long after the working day is over. Working makes many of us feel good. We enjoy what we do. We can see it making a difference. Saying ‘no’ to work can be very difficult. It can make us feel bad. We can feel guilty or worry that we have just said ‘no’ to an amazing opportunity that could change our lives. It is easier to say ‘yes’ and just do it, regardless of how tired we are or of how limited time we have. The more work we do, the better we feel!
My suggestion is that we deliberately turn things around. Just as changing patterns of checking, cutting or engaging in addictive behaviour can be difficult, setting and maintaining work boundaries can be difficult too. Other people may not like it. We may feel worse as we think that we are letting others down and/or that they will be unhappy with us. We may worry that we are missing out. The truth is that we cannot give what we do not have. The expression ‘worn to the bone’ makes sense. If we allow work to consume us, to seep into every aspect of our lives, we will be worn down. Life is precious. Time is precious. We might see work as being precious too, but is it the most precious thing we have?
The way I now manage my time is to ask myself simple ‘yes’/’no’ questions. ‘Is this worth my spending hours this evening to get finished?’ ‘Have I done enough today?’ ‘Is this something that is right for me to get involved in?’ ‘Is work the most precious thing in my life?’
Work is addictive. As we move forward into a life of working from home as the norm for so many, let’s choose a new balance between play, rest and work that suits us and the people we love and who love us. Let’s spend our days the way we want to spend our lives.
Setting work boundaries can be difficult. But the truth is we cannot give what we do not have. The expression ‘worn to the bone’ makes sense