W hy WB Yeats’s lessons in love still rhyme today
Why is WB Yeats’s poetry relevant to young men dating now? What lesson was the poet wittingly or unwittingly teaching?
The poem Aedh Wishes for the Cloths of Heaven is a love letter to Maud Gonne, the love of his life.
He proclaims if he had the “heavens’ embroidered cloths” (money), he would offer it up to her. The kicker comes in the line “But I, being poor, have only my dreams”. The quagmire is if a young man doesn’t have the means to provide nice things, then he feels inadequate.
He proposed to her four times. All were rejected. As my first English teacher said: “Gonne gave Yeats a broken heart; Yeats gave the world some of the best poetry it has ever seen.” A fair trade maybe? But not if you had asked Yeats.
The poet’s flawed suggestion is that to be attractive to the opposite sex you must be rich. However, ask any woman and they will talk about the interaction, the chemistry and not mention “success”.
This comes from the chivalric code which emerged in France in the 12th century. Chivalry, which comes from old French, means “horsemen” and referred to the characteristics of a knight. Before this, knights were brutes with a penchant for violence. The informal rules had three central values: honour, honesty and generosity.
Times change. You see, politeness and generosity are good things in themselves but seeking attainment thinking it will make you attractive is not. Rapper Drake famously sang: “Wish you would learn to love people and use things and not the other way around.”
Confusion comes when men see this as the goal and not the personality and confidence that comes from working hard.
The implication Yeats could not be attractive to Gonne without achievement is a red herring but is deeply embedded. “I don’t have a car, apartment, ability to pay for a fancy meal” are thoughts which may stop some people from putting themselves forward.
Granted, this can be an impetus for a lot of positive change in a young man’s life, but the idea that they are unlovable because of what they are materially lacking says something else entirely.
Thinking Gonne would love Yeats once he acquired the “cloths of heaven” is folly and proved to be.
He won the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1923 and she wasn’t suddenly seeking a fifth proposal.
I met a friend eight years ago in Dublin. He had met a gorgeous lady. I gleaned this was a blossoming relationship. I was happy for him. A month later, we went for a pint and I asked about his love life.
Embarrassed, he said he had ended things. He had recently moved home and she began to question where he lived.
He was too embarrassed to admit it and called quits. I nearly slapped him; “she’d understand, she likes you, not where you live”.
If you find a person that you feel you see eye to eye with, you are one of the lucky ones. The world has changed, but the lingering sense of material inadequacy remains. You are enough without the Instalife. Remember, “tread softly, for you tread on their dreams”.