Awful birth and I can’t breastfeed: I’m a failure

now and it never meant you were a failure as a mother. Millions of births need intervention – and why not?

Childbirth is a painful and often hazardous experience, so if help is needed, you are only being sensible in taking it. Likewise with breastfeeding. Breast is best – but ONLY if you can.

Lots of mums find it near impossible.

Experts think it may be to do with modern lifestyle and stresses.

But if you can’t breastfeed, shrug your shoulders and do what’s best – feed your child the way you can. I remember being upset over the same thing and my mum saying, as I gave him his bottle: “He won’t hold it against you when he’s all grown up and going to university!”

She was right. As for post-natal depression, if you are worried go to your GP immediately and explain your fears. The more you fixate on what you see as maternal failures, the higher the chance you will spiral downwards into a greater anxiety.

Think instead of the positives. You wanted to do everything right. Well, here’s the news: You have. You have safely delivered your child and now you are nurturing him/her. And if you need professional medical help, be grown up enough to ask for it, don’t look at it as a weakness. Now enjoy your fantastic achievement!

You’ve safely delivered your child and are now nurturing him... enjoy your fantastic achievement!