Quotes of the week

For those watching in black and white, Spurs are in the all-yellow strip

Commentator John Motson prepares to retire after 50 years as the voice of English football

We’re a couple, we’re in love

Meghan Markle opens her heart about Prince Harry in a gushing magazine interview despite palace pleas for them to be left alone by the media

We intend to teach people what leaving the single market means

Brussels Brexit chief Michel Barnier promises to teach Britain a lesson if it refuses to hand over a massive divorce bill

To the older reader, I would say: ‘Don’t give up!’

Dame Judi Dench urges mature couples not to give up on desire

I’m hoping to make him extremely jealous

This Morning host Ruth Langsford vows to make husband Eamonn Holmes green with envy with her sexy dancing on Strictly

We laugh, we sing karaoke, we do a lot of cool things together... We hardly ever talk politics

Ex US basketball star Dennis Rodman on his friendship with North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un

The most fun I’ve had this week was at the dentist

PR chief Piers Pottinger refuses to be down in the mouth as his scandal-hit firm Bell Pottinger faces possible collapse

I don’t think I am in the least robotic

Theresa May reveals her irritation at robot slurs

Basically, if you’re a woman giving Ozzy either a back rub or a trolley of food, God help you

Sharon Osbourne reveals wildman hubby Ozzy cheated on her with six other women