I banned husband and son talking

right. What matters is keeping the levels of tension and hostility down.

This needs an acceptance of new rules… but not the one where they’re forbidden from communicating.

As you found, that achieves just a bristling silence and resentment – and one day it could explode.

Can you and your husband talk it over and figure out new rules? Can you get your husband to at least accept things must improve and discuss his ideas on what may work?

Remind him this is a son he loves, but who has grown up and needs treating as an adult with his own views. There must be mutual respect. Perhaps they can agree to disagree on certain matters, or to avoid those subjects. Any new order must work for you both so you can put it forward as a unified couple.

Your son may not like the ideas, but he is choosing to stay under your roof to save money. I appreciate it’s hard for kids to move out nowadays, but it’s still a choice he is making so he needs to play by your rules.

He may accuse you of taking his father’s side (you aren’t, you’re merely trying to sort out a stressful and upsetting situation).

Whatever he lays on you, you’re not the one being unreasonable – he is.

In fact they both are, if they continue this destructive impasse.

They’re both grown adults, they should behave better.. and take your feelings into consideration