She does not realise where we are, even when we are in the house.. she’ll ask me, ‘When are we going home?’
BABS TO DEMENTIA, SAYS HUBBY
Barbara and Scott wed 20 years ago she doesn’t always realise it’s me. Sometimes she will say, ‘Where is Scott? Do you know where my husband Scott is?’
“She will ask me things over and over again. I reply to her with a smile, as if it is the first time I’ve heard it, even though it might be the 15th time.
“There is no point in me rolling my eyes, even if that’s how I’m feeling. So you have to be very sensitive. Sometimes, that’s easier said than done.”
On other occasions Barbara gets anxious if Scott is not by her side.
He explains: “It’s a complete split. She’ll either have those moments where she’s not sure about me, who I am, what the relationship is or the length of the relationship. Or it will go completely the opposite, where she will not let me out of her sight.
“If I leave the lounge to go to make dinner, she’ll either follow me or will be calling me in a minute or so saying, ‘Where are you, are you coming in here?’ I think it is anxiety and fear that suddenly, if she can’t see me, she may feel alone and disorientated if she doesn’t recognise the house.”
Despite her illness, Scott says Barbara still has the sense of humour that tickled fans down the years. Some evenings are spent singing, watching films or tuning in to Eastenders.
REMINDER
He says: “Barbara still has the most wonderful sense of humour. We can still make each other laugh. It’s not that we sit here constantly in these confused conversations.
“Sometimes we have lovely, normal conversations, where I feel everything is okay. We watch Eastenders and, as soon as she hears the theme tune, she knows she was part of the show. Of course, they have the lovely picture of
Peggy Mitchell in the Queen Vic – so a constant reminder.
“Barbara was thrilled when they named the new baby in the show after Peggy. Sometimes, if it’s mentioned, she’ll say, ‘Why are they talking about me?’
“That is just the nature of the illness. She will sing. A lot of the old songs get used in adverts, so she will sing or hum along. Music is very important for people living with dementia.”
The pair also watch Barbara’s old
Pair have raised dementia awareness
Carry On films – stirring memories of her days starring with the likes of Sid James and co. Scott says: “If I put on a Carry On film, she usually gets quite emotional. Especially when she sees Kenneth Williams. It triggers wonderful memories and a sadness. For her, there are three people in her old showbiz life that cause that kind of reaction – Kenneth Williams, Lionel Bart and Danny La Rue. “They have a very strong impact when she thinks back, they are the ones who make her emotional.” While it’s clear he adores Barbara, Scott says their relationship has inevitably changed since her diagnosis.
He says: “Just sitting side by side always feels like we are man and wife.
“But the relationship does change, of course. One would be lying if one said it is the same as it always was.
“I do have to look out for Barbara more than I used to. She was a fiercely independent lady and could really take care of herself. She’s always got out there and done it. So this has been a big change for her.”
Fiercely loyal Scott is determined to care for her in their home for as long as possible. He says: “This is where she belongs. I take life a day at a time. I will face everything as it happens.”
kelly.jenkins@reachplc.com See highlights of One Million Minutes Awards on GMB from 6am on Friday
Scott will run the London Marathon to aid the Alzheimer’s Society. Donate at
HUSBAND SCOTT REVEALING THE COUPLE’S PRECIOUS MOMENTS OF JOY