THE TOMBOY & THE BEAUTY PAGEANT HOPEFUL My identical twin sister’s now a man ...and we have never been closer
AS identical twin sisters, Suchita and Savita Naidu were once almost impossible to tell apart.
But while Suchita has made it to the Miss England semi-final and is eyeing the crown, Savita’s path has been very different – growing up as a tomboy and then coming out as a trans man.
Yet rather than drive any sort of wedge between them, Savita’s decision to open up only made them closer.
Suchita admits: “We weren’t like best friends before Savita came out as trans. We didn’t know everything that was happening in each other’s lives.
“But it was not a shock – we have this intrinsic connection as twins. I sort of already knew. I think we became closer, as Savita didn’t have to pretend to be a woman any more and could feel comfortable in our relationship.”
Savita – who has spent 18 months on the waiting list to attend a gender identity clinic, where he will start taking testosterone – says: “For me, it had been more of a shock finding out I was a girl. Now, I no longer feel like I’m hiding and have accepted who I am. Everything finally makes sense.”
The 21-year-olds were born five minutes apart in Camden, North London. At three they moved to Malaysia, where their family roots are, with their parents and two older sisters. But the family returned in 2012 as they had the right to residency, loved the UK and rated the education system. The twins attended Watford Grammar School for Girls – and it was there, in Year 9, that Savita came out as being attracted to girls.
Now studying Philosophy, Politics and Economics at University College London, he says: “It was a bit of a ridiculous experience. I was acutely aware of not being a woman from 13.
“Even though I felt like a boy, I assumed that was what tomboys felt like. I thought I’d be a masculine woman. But going to the girls’ school was really heavy for me. I felt so deeply unhappy wearing a skirt, it made me feel horrible.”
After taking A-levels, he felt the time was right to come out again – this time as trans. Savita, who uses the pronouns they/them and he/him, explains: “Coming out actually made me and Suchita a lot closer. It forced us to have those intimate conversations with each other. I couldn’t be without her.”
Despite being identical twins, Savita and Suchita had not talked to each other about their sexual identities.
Suchita says: “We were on a school trip and I admitted to our friends that I was bi – and Savita looked at me and said, ‘Really? Because I’m so gay…’.
“We just sort of laughed as it’s not something we’d confided in each other.
“Then, at the end of our A-levels, Savita came out as trans. A friend just began using they/them pronouns one day when talking about Savita and I had to ask, ‘So, you’re a man now?’
“This was probably a bigger revelation for me as it was confirmation my twin was no longer a woman.” There had, perhaps, been clues. Suchita recalls: “We did sometimes wear matching outfits when we were little. But from the age of nine we had a lot of fun dressing in masculine and feminine versions of matching outfits. Savita preferred wearing boys’ clothes since we were two.
“I remember at five or six thinking, ‘My twin sister is not a girl’. I had this feeling deep inside me that her being a girl just didn’t seem right.”
Even dreaming of their weddings at that age, both had no doubt of their respective roles – but never discussed it. Suchita says: “I would imagine Savita as the groom. It didn’t make sense to me for Savita to be the woman in that situation. I don’t even know if I imagined a woman on the other side – but Savita wasn’t the bride.”
Savita, who has kept his birth name, agrees: “I liked planning my wedding when I was about six but could not see myself as the bride. I thought about myself in a little blue suit. I didn’t even know Suchita thought about that too.
“As a child, I was running around with a Wayne Rooney shirt on while Suchita was always in dresses.”
Suchita adds: “Savita liked cars and superheroes and I liked dresses, make-up and flowers. I was this girliegirl while Savita was a tomboy.
“Our family believed it would be a tomboy phase – but the longer it went
on the more it felt like I had a brother.” Savita recalls secondary school as a key time. He says: “We started learning about the LGBT community and all the feelings I had began to make sense.”
His Malaysian heritage made coming out to his family hard as same-sex acts are illegal there and punishments severe. But they have been highly supportive.
Savita says: “I think my parents always thought I might grow out of it. I was never aware it was illegal in Malaysia until I was back in Britain. You can still get lashed there just for being a lesbian.
“I was never discouraged but my parents are quite traditional, so it was hard telling them I was gay… then coming out as a trans man.
“My mother was very worried about the stigma, in case I faced a backlash from the Malaysian community.
“She grew up in an environment where if you were born a woman you chose to be with a man – no matter who you were attracted to. My father was far more liberal. He hinted to me over the years about LGBT rights and things. And while the law in Malaysia is very strict, the actual cultural attitudes are very liberal. It’s a fusion of cultures, so most people accept you’re LGBT. Nobody reports people.” And there is no question he has his sister’s support. Suchita says: “My twin’s sexual identity will never change the way I feel about them. They are the person who has been with me through everything. Gender and sexual identity are trivial when you truly love someone.” Savita is equally supportive of Suchita’s Miss England hopes. Suchita says: “I have always doubted in my ability. Savita has always propelled me to heights higher than I could imagine. They saw it in me and forced me to take up my own potential. “Since my twin sister became my twin brother it’s made us best friends – and closer than we ever were before.”