NEXT GOAL WINS

12A

In cinemas from Boxing Day

Truth is a lot more interesting than fiction, at least when it comes to the story of the worst national football team on the planet.

American Samoa’s record-breaking 31-0 defeat to Australia in 2001 put them at the bottom of the rankings and on the radar of documentary film-makers Mike Brett and Steve Jamison.

Their delightful 2014 film, also entitled Next Goal Wins, followed hardline Dutch-american coach Thomas Rongen as he tried to turn a collection of wheezing misfits into a cohesive team ahead of a crunch World Cup qualifier against Tonga.

The usually reliable Taika Waititi seemed like the perfect director and co-writer for the inevitable Hollywood drama. Sadly, while Brett and Jamison were spoiled by the number of interesting stories they unearthed, Waititi packs every scene with clunky, zany comedy. Waititi himself appears in a mugging, irritating cameo as a local religious leader. Michael Fassbender plays Rongen as a grumpy Irish-american alcoholic. If you’ve seen The Killer, you’ll know he plays a great psycho.

Sadly, tickling funny bones and plucking heartstrings doesn’t appear to be in this actor’s skillset.

The players, so fascinating in the documentary, are largely anonymous, save Jaiyah Saelua (Kaimana), who is a centre back who belongs to the Samoa’s longaccepted third gender, the fa’afafine. In this account, Jaiyah is the film’s star striker and the player who somehow forces Fassbender to confront a tragic backstory.

Even that feels tacked on in a chaotically structured drama which only becomes interesting when we reach the climactic clash with Tonga. It seems watching decent people beat the odds is always cheering.

The formula of the sports drama works, no matter how lazily it’s applied.