‘Let them’ theory lets me relax a bit after mum anxiety
AS mums we feel like we always have the sword up waiting for a fight – ready to face the battle of everyday woes.
For the first few years of motherhood I was in a constant state of flight or fight, worrying about the kids falling, panicking that sniffles were something more sinister.
I could relate to Kendall Jenner when she said recently that “living with anxiety” has left her “scared to have children”.
Parenthood is the number one stress-inducer, yet anyone can get pregnant. Personally, I’m all about coping tools to keep my worry wart nature at bay.
If you do one thing in 2024 adopt the “let them” theory. It’s a game changer and has done wonders for me.
It’s helped me drop the sword and just let people do their thing while I do mine.
I first heard this life hack on the Mel Robbins Podcast.
It makes all relationships better, first and foremost the one you have with yourself, but also your kids, your partner and everyone else. It’s a simple premise – whenever someone is doing something you don’t like, just let them.
Obviously if somebody is in a dangerous situation, intervene, but, in general, the theory works to keep the over-thinking mind at bay.
When my kids play outdoors now, I let them and tell myself, “what’s the worst thing that can happen, a potential grazed knee?”
When my girls, aged seven and five, get into a cat fight, instead of barrelling in like Rambo, I let them have the row and see if they can resolve things themselves.
If kids aren’t your worry you can still use the “let them” approach in every aspect of your daily existence.
For example, if someone cuts you off in traffic, instead of cursing them, let them be obnoxious and just laugh it off.
Why give them your precious energy?
If a colleague isn’t pulling their weight just let them ruin their career and you focus on yours.
And if your mother-in-law is interfering in your relationship, let her have her opinion, but trust your own and don’t let her rent a room in your head annoying you.
Similarly, if a group of friends exclude you from a brunch, don’t overthink it, let them and find a new tribe. If your partner is ranting at you, let them finish their vent without interrupting and then go about your day.
The “let them” theory allows us to take the power back and realise that we can’t control anyone else, what we can control is our response to a situation.
The “let them” theory has given me a new sense of calm in a world I can’t control.