Getting big dose of their own medicine
I WAS transported back to my carefree days of the late ’80s and early ’90s on Saturday night when I went to see Irish heavyweights of the time, Something Happens and The 4 of Us, rolling back the years on stage.
Days when bills were something that the parents worried about, when food miraculously appeared on the table at meal times, and the whoopee cushion was a musthave accessory.
Oh how we laughed when an unsuspecting pal would plonk their rotund backside on it and a loud squelching noise would emanate from their posterior. Happy days indeed.
Speaking of rather rude sounds, one story from the world of sport that certainly caught the eye in the past week is the peculiar tale of South African footballer Tokelo Rantie who was reportedly dropped from the international squad for farting at the coach.
Not the team bus in case there’s any confusion. Expelling stinky air in the general direction of a mode of transportation is one thing, but farting at your manager is a lower blow altogether.
I know we’ve all had blow-outs with the boss from time to time but Mr. Rantie probably took matters just a little too far if, as reported, he dropped his pants and let one rip towards Bafana Bafana coach Ephraim Mashaba, leading him to be expelled quicker than one of his bouts of flatulence.
Other sources say the former Bournemouth player was cut from the squad for failing to report to the South African camp ahead of a training session, so maybe the breaking wind revelation should be taken with a pinch of salt.
The crazy accusation may be a load of hot air, but if there is any truth to it it’s definitely one of the more unusual reasons I’ve heard for a player being ditched from a squad.
Being the inquisitive little bugger that I am, I just had to trawl the world wide web to see if I could catch wind of any other slightly gross stories from the not always so beautiful game.
England legend Jimmy Greaves was involved in a bizarre, but funny, incident in the 1962 World Cup in Chile when they were taking on holders Brazil.
A small black dog ran on to the pitch and when Greaves got down on all fours to try to apprehended the pesky pooch it proceeded to piss all over the striker’s shiny white England shirt, to pretty everyone’s amusement bar Greaves.
Brazil’s Garrincha was so enamoured with the little rascal that he took the dog home and kept him as a pet.
Speaking of dogs, Welsh international Darren Barnard was out of the game for five months after slipping on puppy poo, when attempting to clean the kitchen floor which had been soiled by his cheeky new addition.
A couple of years back Oxford’s Adam Chapman also suffered a somewhat strange injury, when a burnt nipple of all things forced him to pay a visit to hospital and left him in a battle for fitness.
The midfielder somehow managed to scorch his nipple with milk while preparing a bottle for his baby. I think maybe it’s him that needed looking after.
Sticking to the injury theme, David Batty was left wincing in pain when his three-year-old daughter ran over his foot on her tricycle.
I reckon his pride might have suffered the most damage though.
Possibly one of the grossest injuries happened to Servette midfielder Paulo Diogo, who caught his wedding ring on fencing while celebrating a goal and ripped off the top half of his finger. To add insult to injury he was booked for excessive celebrations.
And finally, during the 1930 World Cup semi-final between Argentina and the USA, the American trainer literally got a dose of his own medicine when he raced on to the pitch to argue his point with the referee. In his rage he threw his medical kit to the ground which forced open a bottle of chloroform and he collapsed after being overcome by the fumes.
Maybe a fart being wantonly wafted in your direction is not all that bad and is pretty harmless fun after all.