Three months of lockdown, and it’s amazing what you get used to

TODAY, as I write this, is the First of June. It’s been three months since I’ve been in a pub or restaurant, five months since I was in the hairdressers and even longer since I was in the beauticians.

It’s amazing what you adapt to. Do I miss these every day amenities that we all took for granted – hell yes! Can I survive without them – surprisingly well, give or take the odd moan.

Since restrictions have been eased I’ve enjoyed simple moments of pleasure that would never have cast me a thought in the past – coffee in the garden with a couple of friends.

Lighting a fire out the back and having a beer and a burger as the sun goes down. Piling onto the couch as a family and watching something on telly together. We never normally do that because one of us is always going somewhere.

Elasticated trousers have become my best friend! Why did nobody tell me about the joy of this until now? It’s like wearing pyjamas all day long. I don’t know how I’m ever going to get back into civvies. The thoughts of putting a pair of jeans on is making me break out into a sweat.

But least you think it’s all been Happy Families here, fear not. There have been times in the past three months when I have questioned my sanity and wondered why did I ever think getting married and having children was a good idea.

It has highlighted the fact that my offspring are pretty much useless when it comes to domestic related matters. One of them put a washing powder capsule in the dishwasher (not even in the little box – just thrown into the bottom of the machine) whilst the other one, when asked to change his bed, put three pillow cases on his pillows rather than taking the dirty ones off.

The Younger One who had never used a hoover before, thought it was battery operated and couldn’t understand why it wouldn’t work when she pressed the on button and neither of them had a clue what a toilet brush was or what it was for. After explaining it to them both refused point blank to so much as touch it.

So yes there have been challenges but we haven’t inflicted harm on each other….yet. If this continues for another six months, it could be a different story!

And apart from all the ‘missing my family’ blah blah blah, what I’m really hanging for is a bag of Wexford new spuds. I’d do jail for a plate of them covered in Kerrygold, maybe with a fried egg on the side. Sadly it’s out of my jurisdiction but if anyone wants to post me a few I’ll be forever in your debt!

Until next week...stay safe.

ELASTICATED TROUSERS HAVE BECOME MY BEST FRIEND! WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME ABOUT THE JOY OF THIS UNTIL NOW?